Red Flag
by MorningGlory2
Summary: Starts after 1x08. Not sure how I will continue...we'll see what people want ;) Tom/Rachel all the way. Pretty fluffy, some slowburn, etc. Some chapters are rated M, proceed with caution.
1. Chapter 1

Mike just had to send her. He had to send her, and she just had to kiss him.

The shower felt good against his stiff muscles; he had a hard time relaxing these days. Rolling his neck, the kinks didn't seem to relent. He let the water spray his face.

Mike put her in danger. If they had lost her...

His mind wandered back to the kiss. How stupid, creating a red flag like that. She could have easily kissed Tex to pass on the message. No doubt, she knew he would know exactly what she was doing; Tex may not have caught on. But for a split second, maybe even two or three seconds, he'd questioned her motives. The way she'd thrown herself into his lips, the heat she radiated, the look on her face when she saw him. Confusion was definitely something he felt right now. And bringing up the kiss didn't seem like a good idea, at all.

* * *

She paced the small area of her stateroom, running her fingers through her wet hair. She had a tough time calming down these days, sleep was hard to come by. Especially now.

She hadn't meant to kiss him for so long. She hadn't meant to run at him the way she had, but the adrenalin, the fear coursing through her veins, the fact she wasn't sure she'd survive, all those things had something to do with it. It was meant to be quick. But once her lips hit his, well...stepping back hadn't been as easy as she'd thought it would be.

The feeling of his strong back under her fingertips...she needed to focus, more work was to be done. She needed to sleep. She checked her watch, knew it was the middle of the day. Having been up for several hours however, after all the excitement, she wanted to be tired, needed to be tired. But exhaustion was the last thing she felt.

A knock sounded at her door, and she stopped abruptly, unable to step forward for a moment. She knew who it was on the other side.

Taking a ragged breath, she moved to the door, pulling it open.


	2. Chapter 2

A knock sounded at her door, and she stopped abruptly, unable to step forward for a moment. Taking a ragged breath, she moved to the door, pulling it open.

He stood outside her door, re-dressed in his customary Navy fatigues, his wounds cleaned, his greyish blonde hair neatly combed, hands clasped behind his back. She met his eyes briefly before looking away. She didn't have much to say. She stepped aside and allowed him entry.

He pushed the door shut a bit behind him, not all the way, but enough to make it more of a private conversation. She wrapped her arms around herself in defense. Per their last conversation about her trip off the ship uninvited, she knew she was most likely in for a reprimand, not to mention her actions on board the ship. She swallowed, glancing up at him. She noted the way his skin was still red from the sun after being at sea, the way it actually complimented his features. She begged her mind to think of anything else.

"You created the vaccine?" He watched her fidget, staying calm and reserved on purpose. She often got worked up in a way he never did. She paced a bit, a small smile breaking across her pretty mouth.

"Yes, I was able to make a vaccine, though I haven't successfully tried it on a human yet," she replied, catching his eye again. She noted the way he watched her calmly, hands still behind his back, shoulders broad and squared. He was every bit the captain he held the title of.

"That's the next step, I imagine," he spoke quietly, as she continued to pace in her small area. She nodded.

"Yes," her voice was small, he could sense her apprehension.

"You didn't leave anything you needed on that ship, right?" He needed to make sure. She shook her head. "Good. Now, you need to get some rest before you do anything else. Have you eaten?"

"No, I'm not really much for eating after killing people," her remark was dark, and she chuckled a little to add light to it. He cocked his head to the side and studied her.

"You did what you had to do. Don't question your actions," She looked up again and caught his eyes. Was he talking about killing the Russian or the kiss, she questioned for a brief moment. She pushed the thought away. "You need to rest then. You have a lot of work ahead of you," his soft encouragement was appreciated, but she was too wound up to rest.

"With all do respect, Captain Chandler, I can take care of myself. Haven't I proven that more than once in the last 24 hours?" She could have swore a smirk crossed his face, but it was gone before she was sure.

"Dr. Scott, if I recall, I told you not to take yourself off the ship again without my consent. It's my job to protect you, keep you doing what you need to do to save the world," his words were said so casually, but she knew the depth he spoke of, "I'm going to tell you once more, don't do it again. Now get some rest." His words were crystal clear, as she clenched her jaw, throwing a glare in his direction. He turned for the door, and she stopped pacing then, aggravated for reasons she couldn't verbally or consciously describe.

"Not so much as a thank you, huh?" The words were out of her mouth before she could rein them back in. He stopped, as she stared into his broad back. He slowly turned, as she stood defiantly with her hands on her hips. She had a point, he realized. He admired her sass, her straightness with him. He dropped his head in acknowledgment, his long strides bringing him close to her within moments. She could smell the standard issued soap mixed with some sort of masculine scent, found herself sucking in her breath quicker than she'd intended. He was all man, all commanding, and being so close to him hadn't seemed so unnerving until now. She searched his handsome face, standing her ground. He kept his hands behind his back, the force drawing him to her formidable, and willing him to ask her why him, why kiss him and not Tex? Was she even interested in Tex? And why did he even care to think these thoughts? He set his jaw, and she watched the muscles clench.

"My apologies. Thank you for coming to our rescue. Mike shouldn't have sent you, but I..we appreciate what you did. You were very brave," He spoke softly, but professionally, searching her eyes. He could feel the heat radiating from her once more, wanted to know all the whys. He bowed his head for a moment, taking in the scent of vanilla that engulfed him from what he suspected was soap or lotion. He swallowed. She hung on his every word, and she shunned herself for it. She could almost feel the front of his fatigues against her button down, they were standing close, almost too close. She raised her head as he spoke suddenly, and rather gruffly, "Now, get some rest. That's an order."

She scoffed at his words, "Last I checked you couldn't order me around, Captain Chandler," again came another defiant remark from her. She was strong-willed, he'd give her that. He raised an eyebrow and this time the smirk stayed on his lips.

"Try me, Dr. Scott," He taunted, with a last look, before turning and leaving her state room. She wasn't sure if she was more frustrated or if she felt better about everything. Either way, the scent of him lingered in her room, and as she collapsed on her small bed, she couldn't help but wonder what kind of rest he was getting, and if he carried the same wonders she did. Why had she kissed him? What good had that done anyone?


	3. Chapter 3

Mike entered the officer's lounge and found Tom alone, nursing a cup of coffee in silence. He stood for a moment, until Tom nodded his head and Mike was free to enter. He grabbed a mug for himself, along with the pot and poured himself a steaming cup. He settled down a few seats away from Tom, watching him watch his still coffee.

Mike knew Tom wasn't thrilled that he had gone into rescue mission mode despite Tom's request to be left out in the ocean. If there was one thing Mike believed, and he knew Tom believed it too, it was 'no man left behind'. Especially their captain, Mike had decided. He wasn't going to carry that with him the rest of his days, the fact he didn't go back for Tom, his captain, and very close friend.

Mike cleared his throat, deciding that a little humor never did any harm, "Hey, a rumor's going around the ship," he began, eying Tom with a mischievous look. Tom snorted a little, his mouth forming a small semi smile.

"Oh yeah? What rumor is that?" He looked up from the brown liquid in faux anticipation-he knew what rumor Mike was referring to.

"It's pretty entertaining really," he chuckled, "Word on the deck is Dr. Scott kissed you to pass on the message we needed you to get," Chandler's eyes flickered at Slattery, an eyebrow raised. Mike wasn't sure if he found amusement or annoyance on the captain's face.

"Rumor, huh? How can something be a rumor when it's true?" This time he caught Slattery's eyes. Mike knew what something like that carried for Tom. He was a happily married man, with a beautiful wife and two sweet children. Kissing someone, even for life-saving purposes, was not something an honorable man such as Commander Thomas Chandler took lightly.

"She really kissed you? And managed not to cut you in the process?" Mike was impressed with Rachel's ability to think on her feet.

"Yeah. She came right at me from across the room. Honestly, I myself was quite shocked to see her. I didn't think for a minute you'd actually give her right to Ruskov."

"She insisted. She felt she was the best move we had. I couldn't really argue with her," Mike was dedicated in his decision. He did what he had to do to save his captain.

"I told you to leave us, how much more clear could I have made it? I especially wouldn't want you to endanger Dr. Scott."

Mike dropped his head, nodding. "Understood, sir." He replied; there was no arguing with Chandler. Resigned, he sipped the drink in silence. After a few beats, he spoke, again trying to lighten to mood.

"She really kissed you? Like straight kissed you?"

Tom nodded ruefully, "Yeah," he replied with a chuckle, "Tex nearly had a meltdown over it." This made Mike laugh.

"Why, is he interested in her, too?" Tom looked straight at Mike, eying him carefully.

"Too?" he echoed. Mike laughed, shaking his head.

"Several men onboard find her attractive, it's not a secret," he took a sip of his coffee as Tom laughed, shaking his head.

"I guess it's just information I choose to overlook," He finished the drink and stood, making his way to the sink. "Who do you think let the cat out of the bag?" Tom inquired, glancing back at Slattery, who shrugged.

"I'm not sure. My guess is Tex, or possibly Lt. Green. Either way, it does make for a good story," he chuckled again, taking another sip. Tom dried his mug, turning to face Slattery.

"I'm not sure how funny my wife would find it," he tried to grin, but found it heavy and knew it didn't meet his eyes. He'd be lying to himself if he tried to say he didn't think about the kiss, didn't think about the repercussions, didn't think about her. But he loved Darien, would never do anything to hurt her. The feeling of her lips on his though...maybe it had just been too long, and he was in need of human interaction in only a way a woman can provide. He was an loyal man, to a fault, had never strayed on his wife. But sometimes he felt something for Rachel, maybe more than he'd like to admit to himself, let alone out loud.

* * *

**_What do you guys think? I wanted to write this scene because I think it's important we understand how honorable and loyal Tom is to his family. HOWEVER it's clear he has feelings of some sort for Rachel and vice versa. I really think Darien will not survive on the show, and Tom will be left with the kids. That's where I'm going with this story. Not that I wish death on the wife, obviously, but it's my prediction on the show and that's the direction I'm going. Obviously is she doesn't die, this story will become AU. We'll just have to see what happens. With two more episodes left, I am pretty sure we'll know what happens soon. And judging by the promo for next week, I think we may get more Tom/Rachel in the future. *fingers crossed*_**

**_Thank you for all of your AMAZING reviews! Seriously! 30 reviews?! You guys are amazing! _**

**_I know these chapters aren't very long, but I am still getting my footing with these characters. I would think they'd grow a little as I continue getting to know them. _**

**_Again, reviews are GREATLY appreciated. Thank you! XOXO_**


	4. Chapter 4

_SO excited for tonight's episode! Here's a little something to carry you over until then. Here's to hoping they talk about the kiss...*fingers crossed* (let's be serious, we know they won't. But a girl can wish right?!)_

* * *

She entered the ship's gym quietly. It was the middle of the night, a few nights after their grand escape from the Russians. She'd been working around the clock to secure and test the vaccine; she felt she needed a mental break, some time to run out her frustration.

She hadn't expected to find the gym occupied.

Shirtless, and clearly lost in his own world, the captain was having a push up contest with himself. She slowed her walk, as to not to disturb him, she told herself, but also to admire what she saw. The muscles that rippled under his skin all along his back, the way his arms bulged with every upward motion. He didn't stop, didn't rest, occasionally grunted from exertion. She tried to keep count, and when she reached twenty, she stopped; she knew he'd been at this a while, judging by the gleam of sweat off his back and arms. Not facing her, he didn't know she was there until she finally made her move to the treadmill, climbing on and pressing the 'start' button.

He glanced up and saw her reflection in the mirror before him. She immediately glanced down to avoid his eyes, and he looked back down as well, continuing working off his steam. Every day that went by that he didn't hear from his family, that his crew didn't hear from their families, was one more day he stopped, at least for a moment, to make sure he'd made the right decision.

And then occasionally he thought about her. He prided himself at remaining stoic with her most of the time, trying to keep her at arms length, but the truth was that he'd grown fond of her over the time they'd been working together, since the Arctic. It had been easier when she had just been down in the helo bay, minding her own business. Now she was very much a part of their every day lives on board the ship, and he hadn't anticipated feeling a sense of camaraderie with her, or the constant need to check on her and protect her. These were lines he knew how to draw, had always drawn. But now, all the lines seemed to be blurring.

He gritted his teeth, and finished his push ups, before standing, sucking in air at a rapid pace, sweat pouring from his brow. He'd run five miles before that, and now headed for the dumbbell rack. Daily workouts were not something he was able to enjoy, so he had to sneak it in when he could. And when he couldn't sleep, it was his best option.

He chanced a look at her on the treadmill. He nodded his head in acknowledgment, she offered a tight smile back. She ran at a good clip, he noticed. He also noticed the way her hair was tightly braided and bounced as she ran, a few pieces escaping to frame her pretty face. She ran hard and fast, and he noticed the way she seemed to favor the self-punishment as he did. She was a petite thing, and in the tank top and running tights, he could see much of her frame, to his delight or dismay, he wasn't sure. He tore his eyes away and picked up two heavy dumbbells, making his way to sit on the bench for a few sets of bicep curls.

She had tried not to watch him watch her, but it was definitely not an easy task. As he turned away, she admired the thick, strong man before her, the visible muscles in his back, the broadness of his shoulders. He was not young anymore, she guessed early-mid forties, judging by rank and graying hair. He was thick through his midsection; he was no a small, weak man. He had the strength and stature to command the respect he deserved, and a kindness that always hid right behind his eyes. He was a hard one to read, she had decided. They hadn't talked directly about the kiss, but it definitely was between them, in the air.

She admired the way the Navy-issued sweatpants sat right at his hips. She suspected if it were not the middle of the night, he'd be properly dressed. She assumed he hadn't thought anyone would find him down hear after midnight. She realized she was staring and quickly cut her eyes away, staring down at the console of the treadmill.

Tom didn't know what to do. Watching her run out of the corner of his eyes, the sweat glistening on her brow and shoulders, her ragged breathing, his peaceful nighttime workout had now welcomed a distraction. He was a man, just like any other man, and he admired women, knew when he found one attractive, knew what he liked. That didn't mean he laid a hand on anyone. He was married, as Tex had so kindly reminded him the other night after she had lunged for his face. But right now, as she ran her heart out, he couldn't take his eyes off her.

He went for the heavier weight for a set of hammer curls, trying desperately to distract himself from looking at her. He wondered how long she would run, how many miles he could put down. He wondered whether he should go, separate himself. But he kept lifting the heavy weight, grunting occasionally, trying so hard to stay on task.

He continued his workout, and she kept running, each one chancing glances at the other occasionally, trying not be get caught. Rachel ran until her legs began to shake and slowed to a walk, checking her time. She generally didn't run for distance, and she ran until she felt tired, until the tension left her shoulders. She watched him pick up his towel and shirt as she stopped the treadmill, as he chugged water from his water bottle.

She wiped off the machine, they both finished their duties in silence, as Tom re-racked his weights. He slid his USS Nathan James t-shirt back over his sweaty upperbody, and she noted it was similar, if not the same shirt she'd worn when they'd kissed. Her breathing hitched more than it already was from her run.

"How many miles you do?" He inquired, his voice raspy.

"Four," she replied confidently. She was proud of her distance this evening. He nodded, impressed.

"They must be what-eight to ten minute miles?" He asked, tossing her a dry towel. She welcomed it, pressing it against her sweaty face. She felt like she must look like a mess.

"Roughly. I try to stay around nine. It's a solid pace for me." She stepped closer to him, was surprised when he didn't step back. He thought about it, felt the pull that carried him closer to her, but resisted.

"I'm going to take a shower and try to sleep; I need to be back on the bridge in a few hours. You should get some rest too.." He gestured for her to head toward the door, and she moved in front of him, walking that direction. He walked behind her, cursing himself for checking her out from behind.

"Always worrying about me, captain," She replied with a small laugh, throwing her head back to catch his eye. She found that kindness again, and a small smile.

"It's becoming a habit," he responded, before wishing he could take the words back. It was true, it was a habit these days, but she didn't need to know that. She grinned a little broader and he noticed the blush that spread across her cheeks. It complimented her.

"I appreciate your concern, captain, but I promise I sleep. It's just in small increments." He gave her a dubious look, and as she stepped over the doorway, she glanced back at him with a grin, and tripped with her other foot. Tom grabbed her arm quickly to steady her, pulling her back into his chest a little too strong. She collided with his sweaty chest and caught her breath.

"Careful there," he gently cautioned, his voice soft and low. She dropped her head in embarrassment, with a small laugh. When she looked back up at him, for a long moment they stood, searching each other's face. She was definitely in over her head; he was definitely in over his. Something about this woman drove his senses crazy; she could feel more of him against her than she needed too, knew it wouldn't help her rest very much. She caught him look from her lips to her eyes, and she did the same, before he realized they were treading dangerous waters.

"My legs are a little weak," she replied. She didn't specify from what. Something about being against his hard chest, his hand clasped around her bicep, made her knees shake. She steadied herself and he reluctantly let go, allowing her space.

"Well be careful on your way back to your room, you probably have ten more of those," again, with that chuckle, she wanted to tell him to stop being so captivating. She dropped her head again, and he noticed the way her hair fell loose from her braid, accentuating her face.

"Good night," she offered, turning and heading toward her stateroom. She wanted to run, to distance herself from everything that was the handsome man behind her. Instead, she walked calmly away, could feel his eyes on her back.

Tom watched her go, offering a return 'good night'. Every day seemed to be harder to be around her. He was having a hard time not envisioning her, she was captivating him.

* * *

_Thank you all again for the incredible reviews! I am so appreciative! You guys rock! The more you review, the more I know you want me to continue._

_Also, one guest reviewed and said that Tex wouldn't spread a rumor..I agree. I chose that word to provide humor, and I do think it makes for a good escape story, kissing the captain to get a message to him. I apologize for offending anyone-I LOVE Tex! But I do think Rachel is all in for the Captain..who isn't?!_

_Thank you again for the reviews! Keep 'em coming! :)_


	5. Chapter 5

He pulled her into his chest, tried to hold back his tears. He could feel her sniffling against his broad shoulder, where she was nestled tightly in his arms. He squeezed her tighter, holding her firmer against him. He was so incredibly proud of her for all she'd done, against so many odds. Yes, he had faltered in his belief that she could achieve her goal at some point along the way, which would then become his mission above all else. But she'd done that and so much more.

A stifled sob escaped her lips, and he nestled his head against hers, breathing in her familiar scent, drawing her as close as he could get her. He wasn't sure when it had become so familiar, but he suddenly realized it was. He craved it, in some way. It was a source of comfort during these trying days.

He noticed the softness of her hair. He'd never been quite this close to her before. Yeah, they'd kissed just days ago, but this was different. This was an _embrace_. He held her, took comfort in her arms. They'd been through so much together in so little time. What felt like an eternity wasn't more than a mere few months. And he would do _anything_ for her now, whatever she asked, he would do before even thinking twice.

She leaned into him, gripping his back as if it were her life line. She was so tired, but so relieved. It has worked, they'd done it! Her mind couldn't grasp the true meaning that all of this entailed, and she tried to hold a back a sob. Tears streamed down her face, but she wasn't sad. She was….happy.

He wrapped his arms even tighter around her, and she felt she was close enough to crawl under his skin. She was buried against his chest and shoulder. She felt incredibly safe, comforted. She knew he felt the same joy she found in her heart.

There was something about the feeling of his arms around her. She could stay like this for an eternity. This man she'd bumped heads with, this man she'd begged to trust her, this man who had protected her above all else, was an ally unlike any ally she'd ever had. They had their moments along the way, but at the end of the day, _this day_, they were a team. They'd come all this way, achieved all this _together_.

She could smell his after shave still; feel his breath on her neck where he nestled further into her when she let out another soft cry. This hug, this embrace, meant more to her than she could express. She could feel the head radiating off of him, feel the strong muscles of his back under her small fingers, feel very bit of the front of his body against hers. He rocked them gently, comforting her in her fatigue and tears of relief.

"Hey," he whispers against her ear, his voice full of emotion and rasp. It gives her chills. "You okay?" He asks, concern evident in his voice. She nods against him, not trusting her voice. There's so much rushing through her head, and yet she just wants everything to slow down, enjoy this moment, their victory, this feeling. She rubs his back slightly, gripping him tighter.

His arms are wound snug around her and he can feel her relax into him. He holds her for a while, swaying her. She needs this moment, they both do.

* * *

Thank you all for your incredible reviews. I didn't have much time today, but I wanted to post something. I hope you enjoy it. Please, leave a line if you do :)

Thanks for reading! (and shipping Tom and Rachel!)


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Rachel," the word rolled off his tongue in a way she'd never heard anyone say it before. Not to mention she'd never heard him say it before, and it sounded as though he'd always been meant to say it. The last five or so months he had always called her Dr. Scott, no matter what their conversation. Until today. This moment. He called her by her first name. They were no longer acquaintances, they were friends, on some level, she was sure. Though the way her heart skipped when she heard her name on his lips, she knew there was more to it on her end than that.

The look in his eyes stopped her further. It was soft, kind. Much the same look he'd given her before he'd hugged her, but deeper. She could see respect, pride, and something else deep within his ocean blue orbs. She searched his face, trying to decipher what he was asking for, what he was trying to say, knowing it was more than the words falling from his lips.

"You did it. Let's enjoy the moment," a small smile was upon his lips, in his eyes. He was in awe of the woman before him, all she'd accomplished. She'd had plenty of bumps along the way, but somehow she'd managed to achieve the ultimate goal. He was happy, very happy. And as she stood before him, about to make him immune to the horrific virus ravaging the real world, their little bubble was their little bubble. This moment was theirs.

She looked so relieved, so pretty in the light of his quarters. It was not often they were eye to eye, he towered over her so often. But now, as she stood in front of him, at his level, he was having a hard time keeping his eyes off of her, keeping his hands to himself. He wanted to hold her again, wanted to gather her up and bestow so much of the pride and joy he felt for her upon her. He was so proud, so relieved, so..happy.

He pulled up his shirt sleeve instead, and she faltered for a moment, his broad, bare shoulder ready for her injection. The light caught his wedding band for a moment, and she silently reminded herself somewhere in the back of her mind that this man had a family he had to find, wouldn't rest until he found. But when she caught his eyes again, that thought left her, and she focused on those blue eyes, and the task at hand. She grinned despite herself, knowing this was a poignant moment for them. He held stoic as she poked the needle into his strong shoulder, making him immune. She locked eyes with him again as she pulled the needle out, before he pulled his sleeve down. He ran his fingers over the now soft spot, and she ran her fingers over his before she could stop herself, meaning to rub the spot she'd just injected. Their skin connected and she could feel her stomach tighten at the feeling of his hand under hers. They kept their eye contact for a long moment, as he sat before her, both of them silent.

He watched her, tried to read behind her dark eyes, tried to keep himself from pulling her in. Instead he grasped the hand that had just touched his, holding it tightly. He saw the questioning that crossed her features, but he simply held her small hand in his much larger one, pulling it down and reaching with this other hand to grasp her hand with both of his. He could feel her wrap her fingers around his. They had found this warmth in one another he would have never anticipated, never expected.

She held her breath, unsure of what he was doing. He made her heart flip flop in her chest, as she got lost in the abyss that was his eyes. She gripped his hand, didn't want him to ever let it go. His eyes spoke volumes to her, in so many ways. He took a breath and she held hers longer, waiting for him to speak.

"Rachel, I-" a knock sounded at his stateroom door and she jumped, pulling her hand away quickly, her cheeks flaming red. Tom closed his eyes, annoyed at the failed timing. He cleared his throat, standing to open the door. She busied herself cleaning up her things, and on his way by her backside, he leaned down to her ear, his breath warm on her soft skin, his large chest barely touching her back. His hand rested gently right above her hip.

"We'll talk later," he whispered, and she nodded quickly, picking up her little bag. She couldn't imagine what he'd been about to say, surely it was innocent. Tom pulled open the door, to find Mike standing outside. Rachel came around from behind Tom, nodding her greeting to Mike before sliding by the two large men, and making her way down the narrow corridor. Mike watched her go, but when he turned back to Tom, his captain was already talking business.

* * *

_Just a lil' something for y'all :) Hope you enjoyed it! _

_Don't worry, the next one will be longer and will take up after the finale. _

_Thank you SO SO much for the incredible reviews. Remember, the smallest line means so much, please leave something when you read, on anything you read. Reviews mean so much to us writers, and we want to know you're enjoying where we're taking our stories. Thank you for your reviews, past, present, and future._

_Can't believe we have to wait nine months for more Tom & Rachel. At least we have fanfiction :D _


	7. Chapter 7

He'd been ignoring the wound since he'd received it, but now, with his ship back under his command, and his crew back on board, the pain was suddenly slicing through his gut like a knife. Slattery noticed the way his face was suddenly a few shades paler than moments ago, and he moved to his friend.

"Tom, sit. You don't look so good," he gave the captain a wry smile, though the concern lines are evident across his XO's face. Tom shook him off, though his eyes don't reach Mike's.

"Not until Burk and Green are back on the ship with my kids," his voice was firm as he grabbed his binoculars, looking out into the harbor. They'd sent a boat with the two very capable sailors to bring his family on board from their hiding place. Every moment that passed was agony waiting to make sure they were all right. They'd left the radio, and he'd communicated with them recently, but he wouldn't rest, or seek medical attention, until he had his babies in his arms.

* * *

Rachel was securing her things down in the helo bay, making sure nothing was missing that she desperately needed. She could make due with some of her things getting lost in the fire fight between the Nathan James crew and the Maryland state police, and what she'd lost in the lab on land, but there were certain things she couldn't get by without. Not now that they needed to mass produce this vaccine and cure on the ship.

She heard yelling outside the main door, and stepped through the hatch to find an older gentleman, very pale, being helped onto the ship. She made her way closer to help, Rios also finding his way on to the flight deck. They walked quickly shoulder to shoulder most of the way, neither speaking. For a moment, Rachel wasn't sure who the man was, but then a young girl was helped on and she knew. This was Tom's family. When Tex had rescued her and Alicia, along with the supposed warlords who were actually anything but, he'd told her Tom had found his family. She'd expected him to be her rescue, wanted and prayed for him even, but when Tex had told her that, she'd known her place. A little boy was followed by Danny up on to the deck, followed by Burk. They pulled the ladder up as she reached the group, and she looked around, confused. _Where was his wife? _

"Daddy!" The little girl shouted, tears evident in her terrified voice, as Tom came rushing across the deck behind them. Both children ran for their father, who embraced them half way, dropping to his knees.

The world was forgotten as he held his children in his arms, both crying, their long ordeal finally over, exhausted and relieved. He could feel his throat tighten, the prickle of unshed tears against his eyes. _She_ should be here, _she _should be in his arms too. The last time he'd hugged his children on this deck, she'd been here. And now she wasn't. The pain was more than he could bare.

But his babies were safe. And he was overjoyed at that.

Ashley stepped back suddenly, tears still pouring down her cheeks, her eyes wide with terror. "Daddy, you're bleeding," her voice was full of fear, and Tom looked from her eyes, to his shoulder, and finally took full note of the full sleeve of blood he wore. Sam immediately began to cry harder, as Tom tried to sooth both kids. The pain was somewhat unreal, but he wasn't sure if it was the emotional pain or the pain from the wound. It became harder to tell the difference. "Dad, you need help," as the words came from her, he was overwhelmed. She was so much her mother's daughter.

"I'm okay, baby, it's just a cut," He pulled them tighter to him, but could feel the pain more than ever. He stood as Mike reached his side, and when he looked at his friend, Mike knew just what to do. "Go with Mike for now, okay guys? I'll be right in to meet you. He's going to get you in some clean clothes," He turned to Mike, leaning toward his ear, "Take them to my cabin and let's get the hell out of here," his words were shaky, but Mike nodded immediately.

"Yes, sir, already done. They're pulling up the anchor now," he assured his captain, his friend. He reached for the kids, "Come on, guys, let's get you settled," Sam took Mike's hand, but Ashley balked. She held on to her father's unwounded arm tightly.

"Daddy, I'm not leaving you," she wore the fear of losing her father; she'd just lost her mother. Jed stepped up to her, putting his hands on her shoulders.

"Come with us, Ash, your father will be just fine," he reassured her. Tom touched her face with his other hand, dried blood along his fingers.

"Go with Grandpa, Ashley, I'll be right along. Don't worry, I'm okay," He gave her the best smile he could muster and she reluctantly released his arm.

"You promise?" Tears streamed down her cheeks, and the words shattered his heart. He nodded, pulling her close one more time. She wrapped her arms around his waist tightly.

"I promise," his voice was choked up as he squeezed her with his good arm. He kissed the top of her head and released her to his father, who caught his eyes. "Thanks, Dad," he whispered as he moved past him. Jed nodded solemnly, following Mike and Sam up the deck. Tom squared his shoulders and waited until the children were out of sight, before he grabbed his arm, in excruciating pain, his shoulders dropping, turning to look at Dr. Rios and Rachel. Both were at his side in an instant.

"Captain, we need to get you down to medical, immediately." The captain pulled off his fatigues jacket, and sucked in his breathe as the doctor inspected the gunshot wound. Blood gushed from the wound when provoked, and the captain said some choice words under his breathe. Rachel stood on his opposite side, holding him steady by his other shoulder. He blinked rapidly, the blood loss finally taking hold of his brain. He faltered, but Danny moved in before he fell on Rachel, sliding under his arm and holding his captain upright. Rios began toward the door to the inside of the ship, Danny helping Tom make it to the door, Rachel scurrying behind them. Her concern was on the man in front of her, her heart in her throat. He was very pale and had lost a lot of blood.

"Rachel," he called out for her, stopping, and she was a bit surprised by his use of her first name once more. It seemed like millenniums ago since they'd had that moment in his cabin. How had all this happened? She moved up next to him immediately. He grabbed her upper arm, bringing her to face him. His eyes were desperate, and his face was riddled with pain. She sucked in a breath. It was difficult to see this strong, powerful man hurting so much. "Please go tend to my children. I gave them the cure, but please make sure my family is going to be okay," his words were pleading, his eyes bearing into hers. She nodded emphatically.

"Of course," He squeezed her arm.

"Thank you," he took a deep breath, as if relieved, their eyes locking for a moment, that strength and electricity still between them somehow, before letting Danny pull him off toward the sick bay. She watched him go for a moment, before rushing off to the helo bay for her things and heading up to the captain's cabin.

* * *

Rachel knocked softly, waiting for someone to answer the door to his cabin. When it was pulled open, Tom's father stood on the other side, looking pale, tired, and sick. Rachel offered him a warm smile, extending her hand.

"Mr. Chandler, I'm Dr. Rachel Scott. I'm here to check on you and the children," he took her hand, shook her hand, offering a small smile in return.

"Nice to meet you, Dr. Scott. He stepped out toward her for a moment, shutting the door just slightly behind him. "How's my son?" his voice was full of concern, and Rachel pursed her lips.

"I'm not yet sure, they were just getting him to sick bay, but I will check on him as soon as I'm finished with you and the children," She gave him a confident smile, and he nodded his thank you before letting her into the cabin. Sam was laying on his father's bed, as Ashley sat on the couch, wringing her hands nervously. The children were clearly dressed in their father's clothing, the sweatshirts and sweatpants very large on their small frames. Jed wore a pair of Navy issued sweatpants and sweatshirt, she could tell they had come from the ship's supply room. She set down her bag, turning to Ashley and Sam, who now sat beside his big sister. She stepped forward, extending her hand with a smile.

"I'm Dr. Scott. I'm going to make sure you are healing just fine, okay?" Both children shook her hand, and then she grabbed her stethoscope and moved to sit beside Sam. Both children sat quietly as she listened to their hearts and breathing, feeling their pulse rates. Her blood pressure cuff wasn't pediatric size unfortunately, but she made due with her skills. Both children were in relatively good shape, their color was returning, and their blisters were receding. Jed was healing just as well. From what Jed had said about when they received the shots, it had been a little over twenty-four hours, so they should be right on track to getting back to 100%. They didn't talk much, the children looked exhausted and Jed was resigned to sit in Tom's desk chair, pensive and lost in thought. She couldn't imagine what they'd all been through. And if that fact his wife wasn't here meant she had passed, Rachel mourned for their loss. She knew their loss; her mother had died when she'd been a young child. It was an indescribable loss. Her heart went out to them.

"Dr. Scott," Sam finally squeaked out, the first time he'd spoken to her. She stopped packing up her things, turning to him immediately.

"Yes, Sam?" She realized now how he had his father's eyes.

"Can we see Dad?" his voice was so small, so hopeful. Ashley watched her, waiting for her answer. They were both desperate for their father. Rachel wasn't sure how to answer.

"Let me go see how he is and if he can see you, I'll come back and bring you down," Her offer wasn't what she wanted to say, but she didn't know if he was in any shape for them to see.

"What's wrong with him?" Sam asked innocently, tears welling up in his little eyes. Rachel felt her chest tighten, her heart hurt for the little boy.

"He was hurt trying to save the ship, but he'll be all right. Let me go check in with the doctor and I'll come back with an update," Both children nodded, dropping their heads again, Ashley wrapping her arm around her brother's shoulders. Jed nodded at her in thanks, and she turned for the door, leaving behind her bag to assure the children she would in fact be back.

She made her way down the long corridors, biting her lip, praying for what she would find. She reached the door, which was closed. She took a deep breath, opening the heavy door and stepping in. She could see the captain from the mid thigh down, Rios blocking her view. Burk sat outside the small bed area, standing when he saw her. She nodded in greeting. Neither spoke as she waited for Rios to allow her entry. When he finally stepped back, she could see the captain's pale face, the IV that flowed into his strong arm. He was shirtless, his broad chest blood spattered on the left side, close to the wound that was now wrapped. He seemed to be resting.

"Dr. Rios, how is he?" She asked quietly as Rios closed the door to the small treatment room, providing the captain some privacy.

"I had to remove the bullet from where it was embedded deep in his deltoid, it narrowly missed the anterior humeral circumflex. He lost a lot of blood, but he doesn't appear to have any nerve damage and he's been conscious the entire time." He shook his head at the strength of their captain. Rachel rolled her eyes a bit, she wouldn't expect anything less of Tom.

"The children are anxious to see him, can I bring them down?" She knew how important it was for them, after all they'd been through, to see him, even if he had IVs and bandages. At the sound of the word, Tom called out from behind the door.

"Dr. Scott!" They heard rustling and she quickly pushed the door open to see Tom pushing himself up, visibly fighting the pain. She moved quickly to him, her hands pushing against his bare chest and his better shoulder. She could feel the muscles under her fingers, his soft skin, as she gently stopped him.

"Captain Chandler, what are you doing? You need to rest," Rios came up behind her, giving the captain a warning look. Burk stood behind them all, watching Chandler fight the two doctors' hands.

"I need to be with my family," his voice was firm, but was uncharacteristic coming from his pale face.

"You need to rest or you'll only upset them. They're very worried about you right now," Rachel knew the delicacy that was the children. She'd been there. They needed to see their father well or not at all. They couldn't take the worry, not right now. She pushed a little harder, but he overpowered her still, standing to his full height. "Captain," she warned, glaring up at him.

"I'm fine," he protested. He took a step toward the door before faltering and tripping, his body still weak from the blood loss, his head still woozy. Rachel caught him, her arms wrapping instinctively around his thick midsection. His good arm wrapped around her for support as Burk rushed forward to help her. He found the scent of vanilla she wore oddly comforting.

"Nope, I think you're not," They got him back seated, and he ran a hand over his cropped hair. He looked up at her and she could see the sadness in his blue eyes. Such a polar opposite of the eyes he'd looked at her with just a little over a day ago. She wanted to comfort him but didn't know how. "You need to rest, Captain. Remember all those times you've told me to rest? I'm returning the favor," a small grin dawned upon her lips. "I'll bring the children down, give your father a break," she replied, looking to Rios for confirmation. He nodded his allowance, and she looked back to Tom. He nodded his acceptance, resigned.

"Thank you," he replied quietly, leaning back against the wall. He brought up one knee, resting his arm across it and then his head on his arm. She waited a beat, before moving past Burk to get the children.

* * *

"Okay, remember, your father has lost quite a bit of blood, so he doesn't have a lot of energy. We need to be calm and quiet," her words were encouraging and comforting, she wanted them to know what to expect. She thought they were precious children, both showered, still clad in his very large clothing. Ashley had pulled her wet hair up with an elastic Kara had offered her, and Sam's hair was still freshly wet from his shower. They both nodded their understanding. She pushed open the door, leading Ashley in by hand, Sam holding Ashley's hand. Tom's head rolled to the side from where he lay on the bed, taking in the sight of his children and Rachel. She released Ashley's hand, and let them step in front of her. More tears came from the children immediately, and as Tom worked to sit up, Rachel moved to help him adjust, as he sat sideways on the bed, making room for the kids. The children climbed into the bed, both sobbing, the loss of their mother still so fresh.

Tom couldn't contain his own tears as he held them, kissing their heads, ignoring the pain in his shoulder. Rachel shut the door to the small room, but their sobs carried, and she held her heart, leaning against the wall outside.

"I'm so sorry about your mom," Tom choked out, his words too raw, so unfair. He blamed himself for this, if they'd gotten there just hours sooner, could they have saved her; the thoughts tore him apart.

"She tried so hard to live, she knew you'd come for us, she knew," Ashley sobbed into his chest. They were silent for a long while, taking comfort in being together again. When the tears turned to hiccups, and then turned to sniffles, Sam looked up at his father, his face blotchy from crying, his little blue eyes full of emotion.

"She told us to tell you she loved you a lot," the words coming from the little boy before him just tore him apart, and he felt so sad, so angry at himself for not being able to save her. He hugged them closer, taking comfort in their warmth.

Rachel listened outside the door, a tear streaming down her cheek for the man inside, the man she so cared for. He'd traipsed across the oceans for her, from the beginning, before he'd known any better. He'd fought for her, killed for her, laid men to rest for her, and now, he'd lost his _wife_ for her. The guilt that came over her was immense and so very real. She sat down on the chair beside the door, running her hands over her face. How could this have happened?

* * *

**I know, not much Tom and Rachel, but we have to build up from the bottom here. Tom is going to mourn, and now there are children involved. I worked very hard to make this realistic to the storyline of the show, I hope I succeeded. I chose to not include how they got back to the ship because I wasn't sure I could do it justice, as so many other people are, and I wanted to focus on the characters. I hope that's okay.  
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**Thank you for the incredible, incredible reviews. I am so appreciative, I cannot describe the joy they bring me, and the encouragement they provide. Please, if you read it, always leave at least a line. I am so thankful for them!**


	8. Chapter 8

Tom found Rachel in the ward room, sitting alone, a cup of tea steaming in her hand. It had been a few days since they'd left Baltimore, and he had finally been deemed strong enough to roam the ship. Not one to stay down for long, he'd been begging to get out of medical since the second day. Four days after their escape from Baltimore, and the first thing he wanted was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

He closed the door with his good hand, his other secure in a cotton sling, to keep him from using his arm while the wound healed. He hadn't wanted it but Rios had insisted. He gripped the cotton at the end of the sling, catching her eyes as she looked up. He hadn't seen her since the night she'd brought the kids to sick bay to see him. He presumed she'd been busy in the lab, Lord knew he'd been busy trying to take care of his family.

"Hi there," he greeted her with a small smile. She returned the grin with her own friendly one.

"Hello, Captain," she spoke, a tone of surprise in her voice, "Fancy seeing you out and about, especially this time of night," she noted it was after midnight, looking up at the clock, before looking back at the handsome man who was pouring himself a cup of coffee. He laughed lightly and she found the sound to be music her ears.

"My sleeping patterns are a little amiss these days," his words were rueful, as he found his hidden stash of bread, peanut butter, and grape jelly under a cabinet in the back of the room.

She raised an eyebrow as she watched him, curious as to how no one knew that was there. She watched him pull out a butter knife, grab a plate, and begin opening the bread package.

When he looked up for a moment, he saw her curious look and met it for a moment, before looking away. "Bacon knows how to treat his captain," the comment was a testament to the cook who had stowed away the food for his captain for his midnight snacks. "I'd offer you a scone for your tea, but I'm fresh out."

She caught the playfulness in his tone, and wasn't sure how to respond. She waited a beat before speaking, "I appreciate the thought anyway," she looked back to her tea as he made his sandwich. "Doc Rios says your shoulder is healing; there's no infection. That's a good sign. You'll be good as new in no time."

He fought the urge to look up at her as she spoke. She'd been asking about him. He found that interesting, and sweet. He put the covers back on the jars and settled down in his seat at the head of the table to her left.

He was close enough for her to smell his soapy, clean scent, and she, for a moment, thought about how might he have showered with his bandages. She pushed the thought away, and could feel the heat in her cheeks. Thinking about the man next to her naked was not something she should take up her thoughts with, especially in light of all that had happened.

He watched her while he ate, and noticed the pink hue that suddenly covered her pretty complexion. He eyed her, as she seemed to almost laugh to herself. "What? Do I have peanut butter on my face or something?"

His playfulness was so much so she couldn't help but look up, and his expression was one of a man twice his age, someone trying to keep the mood light. She shook her head, laughing a little.

"No, it's nothing, just thinking about something," she wished her tired mind to rid itself of such thoughts, but as she felt his eyes on her, she was sure he wouldn't let it go. He didn't.

"Penny for your thoughts? I could use a good laugh."

"Oh trust me, this is not something you'd laugh at. Forget I said anything," she practically begged for him to talk about anything else. She stood to refill her tea, hoping he'd not mention it further. Instead, he finished his sandwich and leaned back, as if getting comfortable until she told him.

"Oh really? I bet this is a good thought you had. Please do share," he crossed one of his long legs over the other, his ankle resting on the opposite knee. She leaned against the counter across the room, watching him. His color had come back, and besides the sling, he was the man he had been a week ago, before the mess that was Baltimore. In this moment, as she looked at him, it felt as though nothing had changed. But she knew that wasn't the case. Everything had changed.

She shook her head again. "No, sir. That one is just going to have to stay private for a while," her grin told him it was definitely private and he surprised himself by wanting to know her thought more than he really thought. He raised an eyebrow.

"Can I get a hint?" he was desperate for anything that was a distraction from their next move, the children sleeping in the squadron captain's cabin across from his own, and the heartache from missing his wife. Anything that could tear his mind away from those things was gold.

She contemplated his plead, she wondered what his fascination was. Tentatively, as she made her way back to the table, she spoke, "It had to do with showers. But that's all I'm giving you," She looked at him sideways, settling back into her seat. He raised both eyebrows this time, surprised at her admission.

"I can't even begin to wonder where you're going with that," he sipped his coffee, still watching her. Her hair was completely down tonight, he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen it all down. She wore a large black sweater that looked very soft, gray leggings sliding into her calf high boots. She tipped her head to the side to look at him square on, her long tresses falling over her shoulder.

"Maybe someday I'll tell you everything," her smile was all knowing, and he found her to be prettier in this relaxed state than he'd ever seen her. He didn't speak, just nodded, wondering what she meant by her statement. She was talking over his head this evening, it seemed.

They enjoyed each others company in silence for a while and when he moved to stand to get more coffee, she offered and did it for him. He watched her pour the dark liquid, and bring the steaming cup back to him. They locked eyes, and she cursed the way she could get lost in his. She sat back down, and took a sip of her tea.

"How are the children?" She hadn't seen them since that night in medical. She had tried to give him his space, had tried to separate herself from the constant guilt. He looked down to his coffee.

"They're okay. As good as can be expected, I suppose." She watched him watch the liquid in his mug, all playfulness gone from his expression.

"And how are you doing?" her words were heartfelt, soft and comforting. She shifted slightly in her seat to face him entirely, drawing a knee up to her chest. He didn't raise his eyes.

"As good as can be expected," he repeated the words he'd used for the kids, looking up to meet her with his glassy eyes. He clenched his jaw to keep himself straight-faced and unemotional, but the motion only made her more aware of his reality.

"She was your wife, it's going to take time," the words were so basic but the meaning behind them was so big. She was right, he knew. Darien had been his everything for so long. Until the mission had taken over and he'd put her second. And now he couldn't even apologize for what had happened.

"I just play it over and over in my head. If I had just done something differently, maybe she'd still be here," his voice was quiet, thick with emotion. He didn't lift his eyes from the shoe laces on her boot.

"Maybe we wouldn't have the cure if you'd done something different. Or something might have happened to the children. It could have played out a million different ways," She leaned forward, moving her leg, and placing her hand on his knee. "This isn't your fault, Tom. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine, and for everything, I am so sorry," The sound of his name on her lips, and the words of her apology brought his head up to meet her eyes. They were watery, tears threatening to spill. She blamed herself?

"You saved my father, my kids, with what you created. This is far from your fault," A tear slid down his cheek, and it broke Rachel's heart once more. She couldn't keep her own from spilling over. She was shocked at the amount of emotion she felt for this man and his loss.

She shook her head, unable to accept his words. "Tom, I am so very sorry," She leaned back covering her mouth with the back of her hand. She knew this wasn't about her, this was his loss, but she couldn't help but feel responsible. Despite her feelings for the man in front of her, she would never want him to be in the pain he was in right now. She had kept everything a secret from the beginning, maybe if she'd just told him, maybe they would have made progress sooner. There were so many 'what ifs'.

Impulsively, he put his coffee down and leaned forward, pulling her into his chest, wrapping his right arm around her tightly. He felt her sob into his shoulder as he rested his head against hers, his own tears streaming down relentlessly.

"We're going to be okay, Rachel, we all are," he felt her arms wrap around him, her hands gripping at his back. They cried together for a long while, each finding comfort in the other. They were so tired, sleep-deprived and emotional.

She leaned back slightly, after some time, her face blotchy and tear-stained. His cheeks were wet as she searched his face, his eyes. Her arms were still at his sides, as he ran his hand over her soft hair, moving a few strands behind her ear. Their eye contact lasted a few moments, her tears still on her lips, the heat between them too much for her to bear.

He swept his eyes over her face, taking in her tears cried for him, her wet eyelashes, her trembling lips. Her hands held his shirt at his sides, as his hand cupped her cheek, his thumb wiping her tears. He'd be lying if he hadn't looked at her lips, hadn't wanted to run his thumb, or his own lips across them. He hadn't slept in days, maybe he was imagining she was Darien. But the more he looked at her, he knew who she was, all that she encompassed. His heart was torn, in so many different ways.

Rachel was desperate for comfort, needed to ease the ache in her soul. As his thumb caressed over her cheek, she closed her eyes for just a moment, the electricity in his touch something she couldn't even begin to put into thoughts. When she opened her eyes, he was waiting, ready to search her darker ones. His blue ones were soft, tired, clear. She brought her hands up, landing on either side of his face gently, and in an instant, her lips were against his. She kissed him sweetly, but hungrily, some underlying need making itself known.

He kissed her back, almost immediately, unable to stop himself. The taste of her tea, mixed with mint, and a hint of something else drew him in. He was desperate for comfort, desperate for her, in ways he shouldn't be, couldn't be. Her tongue battled its way into his mouth, and he allowed it entrance, allowed himself to get lost in her touch, in her kiss. He couldn't help himself.

He slid his arm down her back, tried to pull her closer, but she pulled back quickly, her eyes wide and full of something Tom couldn't read.

"Rach-I..what..?" she pushed her chair back abruptly, standing, her hand flying to her mouth. She looked at him as she backed her way around the table, headed for the door, moving as quickly as she could. Fresh tears sprung to her eyes.

"Tom, I am so, so sorry," she pulled open the door, and ran down the p-way, looking for anywhere to be but there. Tom sat, dumbfounded at the table, running a hand over his hair, squeezing the bridge of his nose, unable to process what had just happened between them. So many emotions and feelings ran through him as he stared at the mug of tea she'd left behind. It smelled like her, she smelled, and tasted like it. He felt his heart ache with confusion and loss.

* * *

Thank you again for your incredible reviews. Keep 'em coming and I'll keep the chapters coming ;)

I hope you enjoyed this one! Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

The knocking on the door startled her from her deep sleep and she had to question where she was. She blinked her eyes rapidly, begging them to adjust to her surroundings. As the knocking continued incessantly, she rolled off her bed, and made her way to the door, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Glancing at the clock on small desk, she noticed it was the middle of the night. She flipped on the light and pulled open her stateroom door.

He felt bad waking her, but he was desperate. He hadn't seen her since the night in the ward room over a week ago. Somehow she'd managed to evade him on this enclosed ship. Honestly, now that he was back to full duty, and full single parenting, he hadn't had time to seek her out either. They were planning to drop anchor outside Boston to retrieve some supplies before they went farther north, however; he knew he'd see her eventually. But he wasn't prepared for her to answer the door in a small tank top, braless, in equally small shorts. His eyes scanned her body before he could stop them as she pulled open the door. He chose to focus on her eyes instead.

She hadn't expected to see Tom outside her stateroom, pacing frantically. Her eyes still adjusting, she caught his blue eyes with her darker ones, questioning him. She'd been avoiding him for days, since their kiss in the ward room. She was humiliated and distracted by it, and couldn't bring herself to face him. She'd managed to somehow stay off his radar as they floated in the Atlantic, trying to determine their next move. She figured between his family and his duties, he'd be too focused to find her. But as he paced before her, she learned she was wrong.

"Captain, is everything all right?" she leaned against the frame, using her free hand to push her long hair from her face. He stopped pacing and rubbed his face.

"I can't find her," he spoke through his palms. Rachel raised her eyebrows in questioning.

"Can't find who?" She repeated. The man before her looked exhausted, she decided, and stressed. Worry lines were evident across his forehead, and she worried about him for a moment in exchange.

"Ashley. She's gone," he began pacing again, and she stood straighter, immediately concerned, her earlier unsureness about seeing him again now forgotten.

He couldn't wrap his brain around it. His father had found him on the bridge an hour ago to tell him Ashley had told him she was going for a walk. There'd been no sign of her since, and he had looked practically everywhere on this ship. They were moving toward Boston at a good speed, if she'd somehow slipped and fell…his stomach knotted up at the thought. His heart raced.

"Gone where? It's a large ship, but she must be around here somewhere," her voice was calm, comforting, and he regretted not coming to ask for her help sooner. He should have known she'd put their awkwardness aside for the greater good. "Let me put some clothes on," she turned back toward the door and instinctively he followed, holding the door open, watching her. She had nice legs, he unconsciously decided, from her slim calves up her contoured hamstrings. She was a runner, he knew, but her tights did her no justice. She was petite through the waist, and as she bent over to pull pants out of the bottom drawer of her small dresser, he forced himself to tear his eyes away. He couldn't go there right now, not while his daughter was missing in action. She pulled on a pair of soft, grey sweatpants, socks and sneakers, throwing a thick black sweatshirt over her head. He turned his head back to look at her after a moment, and was appreciative and yet disappointed she was fully covered. He cleared his throat.

"She told my father she was going to take a walk, and I've been unable to find her," she could hear the frantic tone in his raspy voice. As she moved to him, she placed her hand on his shoulder, soothing him.

He felt her touch, reeled from it. He had tried to stop thinking about the kiss, forced himself to wish it away, but every once in a while, it found its way back. Between mourning Darien, and worrying about the kids, it would entwine itself in his thoughts; as if he needed more things to think about.

"We'll find her, Captain, don't worry," she moved past him through the door way onto the p-way. "I'll meet you in the lab in an hour," she gave him a reassuring smile, heading for a few spots she would go if she were looking to escape the constant watch of her father and grandfather.

Tom headed in the other direction, praying one of them found her.

XXXXXXX

Rachel had walked the large deck, checked the lab, the galley, the mess hall, and made her way up the p-way to the crew lounge. Beyond checking staterooms, it was the only place she could think the young girl was.

She pushed open the door, found the room to be dark, except the glow of the TV. Sure enough, to Rachel's relief, Ashley lay under a blanket on the couch, fast asleep. Peering at the TV, she recognized Gilligan's Island, but the sound was so low she could barely hear it. She turned on the lamp next to the couch, touched the little girl's hair, and noticed the tear-streaks down her cheeks. She didn't rustle from her sleep, Rachel suspected sleep didn't come easy to her these days. Getting used to sleeping while at sea was one thing, missing the person who tucked you in every night for your entire life was another. Rachel knew her pain, all too well. It had been several years since the loss of her mother-she'd been ten-but the pain was still very, very real.

She pulled the blanket up higher on the young girl, and kissed her forehead purely out of support, hoping the child could unconsciously take some comfort from the gesture. She knew Tom would be furious when she told him she'd found her, and no doubt Ashley would get a strict reprimand about running around the ship unaccounted for, but for now Rachel just wished the little girl peace. She stepped outside and asked one of the passing sailors to call up to the bridge and inform the captain she was in the crew lounge. He nodded, and she stepped back inside, sitting in the chair adjacent to the couch, watching over her.

Not shortly thereafter, Tom busted through the lounge door, and from his entrance Rachel could tell he was ready to yell. She raised her hand to silence him before he even began, and he stopped, himself realizing Ashley was asleep. Rachel stood slowly and walked to him, motioning for them to step outside. She could now see his red face, and while he paced, she stood still for once, admiring how roles had suddenly reversed.

"When she wakes up, I swear to God…," hands on his hips, he paced in the small area of the p-way, his words hushed but fierce. He had been beyond worried, and now he was beyond upset.

"Maybe she just needed a quiet place away from everyone to grieve and sleep for a while. Think about what she's been through, her mind must be a mess right now," Rachel spoke in comforting, soothing tones, trying to bring the frantic father back down. He stopped, pointing at the door.

"She could have been hurt or worse!"

Rachel tilted her head, gazing at him. She could tell by his demeanor he was not used to being the sole caregiver, she imagined Darien had been the ring leader around their house; he must have been busy advancing his career while she took care of their home. He now wore the sole responsibility of caring for their children. Jed was around, but he'd been making himself useful on board the ship, keeping himself busy. Kara and Alicia helped out watching the kids, but they had important jobs to do. Tom was all on his own here, in more uncharted waters. Rachel sympathized with him.

"First, you need to bring it down a notch. If you yell at her, you're only going to alienate her even more. Second, there are over 200 people on this ship who are very aware she is your daughter, their captain's child. No one is letting her get hurt," she spoke matter-of-factly, keeping her tone even, not wanting to upset him further. She tentatively stepped forward and placed a hand on either shoulder to stop him from pacing. "Third, you need to calm down. You being this upset is not going to do you, her, or Sam any good." She held onto his broad, strong shoulders, kept his eye contact.

He stared down at her, all her statements registering in his mind. He had no words for her. She could feel his muscles relax under her fingers, and she slowly released him. He brought his hands up, rubbing them over his face, a move he seemed to be doing more often. One of complete surrender. He dropped his hands, placed them on his hips, looking at her, studying her.

"Tom, she's fine. Your little girl is safe and sound behind this door, fast asleep. Leave her be. I'll stay here and bring her back to you when she wakes," her offer was followed by a small smirk, "As long as you promise not to lock her in a room like you did with Quincy," at that she watched him drop his head and laugh. It was a tired laugh, but she enjoyed the sound.

"All right, I promise," he raised his head with a small smile, "this time. If she does it again though…" he trailed off, his previous anger returning for a moment. Rachel gave him a reassuring smile.

"Talk to her. She won't do it again, I assure you," Rachel put her hand on the door handle, moving to open it. She felt his large hand on her forearm and stopped, looking at the way his fingers curled around her arm gently. He stepped closer to her, his masculine scent enveloping her. She dared to look up, knowing his ice blue eyes were waiting for her. As soon as her eyes reached his, she could feel that flutter in her stomach, the way her heart beat sped up.

"Thank you for helping me look for her," he spoke, his words heartfelt. As he looked down at her, he was overcome with the need to ask her about the kiss, about why she ran away. But her eyes were so wide, she looked so vulnerable, so unsure, he couldn't get the words out. "Admittedly, I'm struggling with being their only parent right now, I appreciate the fact I was able to come to you. Thank you," his words were soft, his voice raspy and he held her eyes with his own. He struggled with the urge he had to bend down and put him lips on hers, see if the feelings he got the other night were real.

"I'm here anytime, Captain," her voice was soft, she was officially lost in his ocean colored eyes. She leaned against the door, she needed to be held up at this point, his gaze was making her knees weak. Her face felt warm, she suddenly felt hot.

It wasn't lost on him the way she went back to his title, instead of using his name as she had only moment before. "Thank you," he whispered once more, before grazing his lips over her cheek.

It was chaste, and over before she could react. He was gone then, striding away from her before she could respond. She watched him go, her mind a mess of mush and confusion. She was a solid, professional scientist and this man could turn her into a weak disaster with one look. She dropped her head when he disappeared, pushing the door open and making her way to the chair by Ashley. She checked the young child on her way, making sure she was still sleeping soundly, and it didn't appear she'd moved. Rachel settled in, grabbing an extra blanket from the closet, and watched the TV show reruns in silent, her mind consumed with thoughts of the captain, and that their professional relationship had evolved into, and the mess they could potentially make, a mess, she barely admitted to herself, she was willing to make.

* * *

_Thank you again for your incredible reviews. I wrote this quick, excuse any errors. I'm a little lukewarm about this chapter, I hope y'all like it. Let me know :)_


	10. Chapter 10

"Everything looks like it's progressing normally. My guess, without an ultrasound, is that your 8-10 weeks along. Once you reach your second trimester, the morning sickness should dissipate," Rachel smiled kindly at the young woman on the exam table before her. Kara laid her head back on the pillow, sighing.

"How much longer until then? I don't know if I can keep going on like this, I'm practically useless sometimes," Kara had been feeling awful since the trials. The sickness came and went, but when it was there, she was down for the count.

Rachel offered an encouraging smile, "Fourteen weeks puts you in your second trimester," she was sympathetic for the younger woman, knowing that was not the news she was hoping to hear. "But then, four weeks after that, if I can get my hands on an ultrasound machine in Boston, we can see what sex the baby is," she gave Kara something to look forward, something to hold on to during the rougher moments.

"Thank you, Dr. Scott." Kara smiled at Rachel, sitting up slowly. Despite Rios being the ship's doctor, Kara had asked that Dr. Scott take care of her and the baby; she preferred a female during this time. Rachel was out of practice, and hadn't delivered a baby since her trauma days in Mogadishu, but she was confident she could get Kara through the pregnancy, along with Rios' help as well during the non-exam moments.

"Of course, Kara. Please let me know if you need more anti-nausea medicine. I'll look for something a little more effective while we're in port, and try to get my hands on some baby items for you as well."

Kara smiled her appreciation, heading for the door to exit sick bay. Danny was anxiously waiting outside. Rachel watched them share a quiet moment, as Kara reported that all was well so far, and watched them embrace. She looked away then, feeling like she was intruding on their moment. She could feel the engines still, knew they were docking. She'd been practicing her speech in her head about going ashore with them, needing medical supplies. She knew Tom was going to fight her. But she was determined to go with them-she knew what she needed and she didn't want to have to make a long laundry list for whoever would be retrieving her things.

* * *

She made her way to their deployment area, watching the boats being lowered into the water. Her pack over her shoulder, she stepped up beside Tex and Danny, who were armed and ready to head ashore. She knew time was of the essence; they needed to refuel, get food and supplies and get out of Boston as soon as possible.

Tom's back was to her as he briefed the team, Mike looking on. Mike had discouraged him from going, since his children were now very much in his life, he needed to stay safe, didn't need to be risking his life when Mike was very capable. Especially when Tom wasn't 100% yet after his injury. Tom had relented and agreed to let Mike go in his stead. But it had been an argument between the two. Tom wasn't one to stay behind.

This was the same as their trip to Gitmo, get in, get what they needed, and get out. They would be stopping in Norfolk potentially on their way back south soon; there were more family members to look for. But they realized how dangerous it was for them to be docked in any harbor now, had seen it first hand. Everyone needed to be on watch, armed and ready to head out of port as soon as danger arose.

When he finished addressing the crew going ashore, he turned back to the men behind him, raising his eyebrows immediately at the sight of Rachel. "What are you doing?" He questioned her. He didn't need to ask, he knew she would insist on going. But he stood fast, knew his strict answer.

"I need to go to what's left of Mass General. We need more medical supplies to keep replicating the cure, and I need an ultrasound machine to make sure Kara's pregnancy progresses normally. She also needs pre-natal vitamins, amongst other things. Quincy is not healthy enough to go, and-"

"Doc Rios can go for you, make him a list. You're too valuable," he was short with her, wasn't entertaining her antics today in regards to going off the ship. The answer was and, especially after what happened in Baltimore, would always be no.

He turned to Tex, began explaining something about their mission, but she interrupted them. Tex looked at her, surprised at her assertive tone. "Captain, with all due respect, I'm overruling you on this one," She pushed past him, following Danny to the ladder.

He watched her go, surprised into silence by her actions. She wasn't normally one to be overly bull-headed and completely disregard his authority.

Mike waited for Tom to stop her. He and Tex exchanged a look.

"Dr. Scott," came his sharp tone, turning to face her as she walked away. She stopped, only out of respect, crossing her arms and looking at him expectantly. "Did you hear what I said? Make Rios a list and-"

"Captain, I'm going," She moved over the railing, her heart racing as she climbed down the ladder, landing in the boat easily.

Tom clenched his jaw, watched after her, where she'd gone. He was angry, irritated by her defiant behavior. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. She was safer on board the ship, they couldn't afford to lose her. "Go with her, please. Do NOT let her out of your sight," he spoke to Tex and Mike, who nodded, their plans now changed. He would have gone, but with Garnett and Chung working to refuel and Mike already going, there was no one else to command the ship. He knew he could have switched places with Mike, but at this point it wasn't worth it. He had to trust his men to bring her back safely.

Tex settled next to her in the boat, and she ignored the chuckle that escaped him. "Somebody ruffled the Commodore's feathers..."

"I know what I need and it's easier if I just get it," was her snappy reply. Tex laughed at her, entertained by her antics this sunny, fall afternoon. Mike puffed on a cigar, taking the moment off the ship to enjoy one.

"She decided she needed a 45 minute walk, Tex, that's all," Mike replied with a laugh, also amused at the irritation of the captain and her complete disregard for his orders.

"Oh, 45 minutes, that's all it is? You're lucky I'm in for a stroll, now that we've been put on babysitting duty," his sarcasm got her a glare, and he just chuckled, "Oh lassie, relax. Enjoy your trip because I have a feeling it's the last one you're gonna get for a while."

* * *

When they finally got the last of her things on board, she was already delegating, instructing where things needed to go, where things needed to be stored. Tex and Mike stood tiredly next to her, admiring her endless energy. They shared a look, however, as Tom strode out onto the flight desk.

"Dr. Scott!" He called as he got closer. She ignored him, talking to Danny about the ultrasound machine's capabilities. Tom was so angry with her for her defiance, had been stewing the entire time she'd been ashore. He thought through everything he was going to say, how clear he was going to make it that she would never be allowed off ship again thanks to her behavior. Sitting in his chair on the bridge, he'd stared out at the ocean and the desolate city that was now Boston, thinking about his life now, how different everything was. And how if anything happened to Rachel...he couldn't lose any more people.

Mike could tell by the way she affected him, how his behavior changed when she was around. There was something underlying on Tom's end. He couldn't put his finger on it, but some of the recent exchanges he'd witnessed between the two intrigued him.

"Dr. Scott!" his voice was tight, and when she finally glanced up at him, she could tell he wasn't happy with her. "A word please. _Privately_." She dropped her head, excusing herself from the group, following the Captain as he walked off the flight deck at a good clip. She followed behind him dutifully, thinking of all the retorts she had for when he scolded her. She followed him to his stateroom, where they had privacy, and he opened the door, allowing her in first, and then shutting it behind him.

She faced the far wall, afraid to turn. When she finally did, she wished she hadn't. She began speaking first, now just as upset as he was. "Captain Chandler, you have no right to tell me what I can and cannot do. I am not one of your crew and you cannot order me around as if I am!" Rachel crossed her arms in defense. Normally she wouldn't be so hot with him, but with the way he was looking at her, his head down slightly, his eyes bearing into hers, she felt the urge to yell, because otherwise she'd end up doing other things.

"Dr. Scott, don't you _ever_ undermine me in front of my crew again." His words were low, fierce. He seemed to have grown in his uniform, his shoulders drawn back, his arms crossed. They seemed to have begun a staring contest, their eyes locked, both seething with their own kind of anger. "I hope you got what you needed because I can assure you, your days of going ashore are over."

"You have no right-"

"I have _every_ right!" His voice boomed in the small room, his patience quickly thinning. "This is my ship and everyone on it is under my command, including you! And if you think you can deliberately disobey an order without repercussions, you're wrong." He clenched and unclenched his fists at his sides, his frustration with her going so much deeper than just her going off the ship without his adherence.

"Captain, it sounds like your title is going to your head," her words were sharp, and if possible, his eyes darkened further, a darkness she hadn't seen since their first fight months ago, after the Russians had attacked them. She was breathing heavily, her hands defiantly on her hips, her eye contact never wavering.

"Dr. Scott, I am warning you, pull a stunt like that again-"

"Why am I so 'valuable'" she put air quotations around his chosen word from this morning, "to your mission? You have your cure, you have the lab. If something happens to me, Rios and Quincy know enough to continue my work. I am not valuable, I am no more important than anyone else!" She was so tired of him treating her like she was fragile. She was tough, had been taking care of herself far longer than she cared to admit. She didn't need his protecting.

He paced a little bit, no words coming to mind in response. How do you tell someone how important they are, when you're not even sure how much?

Instead, on a leap of faith and spurred by the severe anger he had at her for risking her life, he crossed the room quickly, his hands sliding up to either side of her face, his mouth covering hers. This kiss was fierce, intense, and he couldn't help himself.

She found herself shocked at first, but soon gripping his strong biceps, kissing back, matching his fervor. The feelings he pulled out of her were something she'd never felt before. She melted into him, her body meshing with his. She cursed the uniform that separated them, but that didn't slow her lips from kissing his back passionately.

He couldn't get enough, backing her into his desk. He wanted to eat her alive, to show her how important in fact she was to him. But in the same moment, he could still feel how upset he was with her, and how vulnerable he was in this moment.

He pulled back abruptly, staring at her, his eyes dark, his expression one she hadn't seen before. He released her, but stood closely. "Get out," he practically growled, so frustrated with her and himself, he needed to be alone.

Her eyes widened, confusion and hurt evident on her face. She blinked, trying to readjust to reality, moving quickly for the door. Her stubborn behavior was forgotten as she practically ran down the p-way, putting as much distance between herself and Tom as possible. This man had a way of turning her inside it in a matter of seconds. It was not something she was proud of.

She thought back to the moment in the ward room, when she'd kissed him and then ran. Maybe she deserved this. Maybe he was getting her back. What kind of game was this they were playing with one another?

Tom paced his stateroom, rubbing his face. Why had he done that? Why would he cross that line? He couldn't stop thinking about it though, the feeling of her lips on his, of her against him. He sighed heavily...

* * *

_I hope you guys enjoyed this! I know we've been working the slow burn but this chapter sort of wrote itself. I had this whole plan for action in Boston, but my fingers took me in a different direction. And if you read my tumblr post..that cuteness turned into...well, something else entirely!_

_I'm also opening the floor for thoughts on what should happen next..if you have ideas, let me know. If I use them, you'll get credit :) Feel free to PM me about your ideas. _

_ . , thank you for your thoughts and ideas about action in Boston. I'm sorry I went in a different direction, though I may use what we talked about in the future if it fits :) Thank you again though!_

_And thank you again for all your incredible reviews! The support this story is receiving is so amazing, and I am so appreciative! Thank you for leaving at least a line, even the smallest review means so much! Thank you!_


	11. Chapter 11

"Well look what the cat dragged in!" Tex exclaimed, causing many of the crew members surrounding him to look in her direction. Rachel's cheeks turned a bit pink, and she dropped her head with a half-smile. "Fancy seeing you down here for a meal," he gave her a smile in return, pushing Burk down. "Move, let's make room for the lady," the men around him just laughed.

"Really, Tex, I'm fine. I just came by to get something quick, I've got too much work to do to enjoy a meal," she replied, moving past the table full of sailors. "Thank you though," she finished gracefully. Truth be told, she hadn't strayed far from the lab and her stateroom since her exchange with the captain the week prior. And if she did, it was early morning or late at night. Avoiding him had become part of her daily routine, and she had gotten it down to a science.

Tonight however, she was starving, and ventured out to the crew mess hall for some dinner. She hadn't anticipated how packed it would be, had hoped to get in and out unnoticed. She was failing, as Tex continued to coerce her to stay for the meal.

"Come on, Rach, be one of the guys, stay a while," he tried to get her to stay, Danny, Burk, Miller and the like all cheering her on. She politely declined; she wasn't much company these days.

"You guys enjoy your meal, I'll see you later," she headed for the door, bumping into Slattery on her way out. She closed her eyes for a brief moment. So much for going anywhere unnoticed, she sighed. She was sure Tom would be around any moment, just to make things more awkward.

"Easy there, Doctor," he steadied her by her shoulders, as she looked up his six foot four frame. He was a large man, a handsome one; she admired his kind eyes. They hadn't always been on the same side, but he'd grown on her. She gave the same, small half smile to him as she had Tex.

"Good evening, Commander," she replied, trying to move past him.

"Haven't seen you around lately, almost forgot you were on board," he winked at her and she knew he was kidding, but she wasn't in the mood to laugh.

"Well, there's been a lot to do, especially with setting up the birthing suite for Kara," she rambled a little, not wanting to talk about the real reason she was hiding.

"Well, I hope you're in need of a distraction," he turned to the crew, who was standing at attention, waiting to be acknowledged. "Ladies and gentleman, get dressed for R&R as we'll be docking just off Damariscove Island in a few hours, an uninhabited island about 5 nautical miles off the coast of Boothbay Harbor, Maine. We have some engine repairs and maintenance work to be done, and you all deserve a break. We'll have watch assignments posted, but everyone will get some time on the island. As you were," he stepped out into the hallway, as Rachel took in the news. She doubted she counted as anyone who would get any time off the ship, not after last week. She began walking away, heard her name called out.

"Dr. Scott," Mike called after her. She reluctantly slowed, turning slightly to see him striding toward her. She dropped her head in defeat, she knew what was coming.

"Don't worry about Tom, I'll make sure you get to enjoy some R&R along with the rest of us," his words were quiet, a smirk on his face, and she looked up, surprised. "He's all hat and no cattle most of time; he won't actually make you stay aboard ship while everyone else is off having fun," he chuckled a little, and she couldn't help the smile that crossed her lips at his choice of words.

"Thank you Commander. I appreciate your words," she replied, and she meant them. It was nice having people in her corner.

"Plus, I'm sure there are some birds there you can just say you're studying," he spoke playfully, winking at her, referring to the lie she'd told to get on the ship, before all that had happened. She laughed a little to herself before turning and heading back the way she'd come, sandwich in hand. She felt a little better about everything-it was nice having people looking out for her. She wasn't used to that.

* * *

Tom stepped off the bridge, out onto the east wing of the bridge, taking in the fresh air and the sun on his face. It was early, the sun was just rising over the two mile long island they would be spending the next forty-eight hours docked beside. He was actually looking forward to getting off the ship with his family, trekking across the small island, taking in the sights and sounds of coastal Maine. The air was chilly, it was late October after all, but it felt good against his face. He didn't mind the cold weather, welcomed it. Growing up in Virginia, they had always gotten a decent winter, and with his birthday in early November, he'd spent much time enjoying birthday parties skiing with his friends. He knew winter in Maine was much colder, and they would head south before any weather could hinder them, but he wanted to enjoy the fall weather while he could. Bringing his hot coffee to his lips, he welcomed the warm liquid, enjoyed its smell against the rich, crisp air.

"Dad!" Sam bounded through the bridge and outside to his father, who turned at his son's voice. Sam's nose was pink, his cheeks rose-colored. Tom felt his heart swell; he loved these kids so much.

"Hey buddy, what have you been up to? You're out of breath," he laughed at Sam's excitement. Admiral Halsey came around the corner and barked, as Danny came through behind him.

"Look, Dad! He can find me anywhere!" the little boy exclaimed, amazed by the German Shepherd's skills. Danny asked the dog to sit, and as Sam got closer to pet him, the dog licked his cheek, causing Sam to shriek with joy. Tom missed having the easy joy of a nine year old. He looked up and offered Danny a grin.

"Looks like you made a friend," he replied to the younger Navy Seal. "Good practice for you," he added, watching Sam adamantly pet the wooly dog. Danny grinned.

"Yes, sir. Hopefully my son or daughter is as well behaved as yours," he complimented, before turning back to Sam, "Attention, Seaman Chandler," he spoke to Sam, who stood at attention, saluting Danny, who saluted him back, his expression one of seriousness. Chandler felt his heart practically burst with love for the child before him, his salute practiced and true. Then off he went to hide so the precisely trained dog could find him once more. It was good practice for the dog, and it kept Sam busy, which Tom appreciated.

He couldn't contain the smile that had stretched across his face, as he looked back out to the ocean before them, calm and still, the sun drawing pink and orange lines across the wavy surface. The ship was still quiet, the day just beginning. Dressed in his jeans, sneakers, and long sleeve US Navy tee shirt under a blue and gray flannel button down, he felt out of place on his bridge. But this was their life now, this was their home. They had to find balance.

He felt arms wrap around his waist, and removed his hand from his pocket to wrap it around his sleepy daughter. He rubbed her back, squeezing her against him as she yawned. The children had become commonplace on the ship, they had access anywhere safe for them to be, including the bridge. They were the Captain's children after all.

"Good morning, sleep-head," he welcomed her, her arms tight around him.

"Morning, Daddy," she spoke, her words muffled by his shirt. He chuckled a little.

"Did you get breakfast?"

"Not yet," she replied, releasing him to stretch. He watched her jump up and down, waking herself up.

"Want to head down to the ward room for some oatmeal or eggs?" He needed another cup of coffee as well. And some bacon sounded pretty good.

"Can I have hot chocolate?" she shivered for effect, wrapping her sweatshirt -covered arms around herself. He raised an eyebrow.

"After you eat some eggs," he compromised. She grinned happily, suddenly awake and bounding through the bridge. "I'll meet you down there," he called after her, but she was already gone. Alisha laughed, sipping her own coffee.

"You have the cutest kids, sir," she spoke with a soft smile. He knew it had been hard on her, everything they'd been through with her mother back in Baltimore. He offered a warm smile.

"Thank you, Lieutenant," he headed in the direction of Ashley, "I'll bring you some bacon when I come back," he called over his shoulder. She smiled, and this time, it was a full smile.

"Thank you, Captain!"

* * *

People had been disembarking all day, taking the ribs back and forth between the island and the ship. Rachel had waited, finishing up some tests, waiting for the Captain's orders for her NOT to go ashore. They never came. So she decided as soon as she was finished with Kara's first ultrasound, she would attempt to head for the island.

She had set up an exam area down in sick bay, her second computer now doubling as an ultrasound machine, tucked into its new home, along with the other equipment Rachel had been able to gather to assist with the delivery.

Kara and Danny walked through the door to medical, hand and hand, and Rachel admired the couple. They were a sweet pair, and despite their indiscretions on board a ship where such a thing was not permitted, it was very obvious they were very much in love. And their excitement about the baby was contagious.

They were dressed casually, both ready for their trip to the island. Rachel motioned to the bed.

"Hi guys. Kara, have a seat up here. I am sure you guys are ready to head to the island, so we'll make this quick," Kara settled on the exam bed, and tried to contain her excitement. "It's a bit early to hear the heartbeat, so don't be discouraged if we don't hear it. Go ahead and lie back," she turned the machine on and pulled up Kara's tee-shirt, and placed a sterile towel at the waist of her jeans to avoid getting jelly on it. She watched Kara grip Danny's hand until he winced in pain. Rachel giggled. "You may want to save crushing his fingers for the actual birth," she winked at Danny as the two laughed a little. She put jelly on Kara's abdomen and moved the wand around on her skin, searching for the small embryo.

To Rachel surprise, the little heart beat raced away. She watched Kara well up with tears, and saw Danny's happiness spread across his face. She also noticed the embryo measured at eight weeks. "You're eight weeks along, Kara, and your baby has a healthy heartbeat, as you can hear," she finished her words with a big smile, she situated the wand right above the small peanut-shaped embryo and pointed. "And there it is," she grinned at the proud parents, who couldn't contain their tears of joy. The door to sick bay opened just then, all three looking at the opening door, as Tom stepped through the threshold. He stopped mid-step however, not realizing he should have knocked. Danny straightened right away, and Kara moved to sit up.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize anyone was in here, I just needed a bandaid. As you were," he spoke quickly and quietly, turning away to give them privacy, rustling through a drawer close to the door. Rachel reached around the computer, and found a stack on the shelf. She turned to the Captain.

"Captain Chandler," she got his attention, her arm reaching in his direction with the bandaids. He turned toward her, and attempted to catch her eye, but she didn't look directly at him, only where his hand intercepted the little bandages. He turned to leave, catching sight of the computer screen. His breath caught in his throat.

"Is that the baby?" The soft grin that spread across his face was one brought on by nostalgia. He'd been in Danny's shoes, experienced the joy he must be feeling. More tears spilled from Kara's eyes, as Danny squeezed her hand. Rachel moved the wand over Kara's abdomen at just the right angle, and the heartbeat filled the room once more. Tom looked at the faces of his two crew members, and back to Rachel, who was gazing at the screen before her, transfixed on the little growing being. He couldn't see her face, wished she'd look at him, give him any indication she was no longer upset with him, and what she was feeling in this very moment.

She printed a small picture for the glowing parents, and stood, cleaning off Kara's belly. "I'll let you two have a moment," she spoke quietly, handing the couple the picture and then stepping away toward the door.

Tom followed her, and as she stepped out into the p-way, he reached to touch her elbow, but stopped himself short. Instead he stood up a little straighter and cleared his throat. "Dr. Scott," he greeted, now that they were somewhat alone. He kept his tone professional. "Due to the nature of our stop here, I'll allow you ashore," his words were short, and she didn't look at him. He was somewhat hurt by her cold shoulder. He wasn't surprised by her behavior though. It wasn't as if his choice of words were the best. He winced.

She crossed her arms and nodded, she had no words for him.

He stood for a moment, waiting for her to reply. When he decided she wasn't going to, he realized he had no reason to stand there-he didn't have anything to say either. "Very well, then," he moved off, heading toward the flight deck to take a boat to the island. He was battling his attraction to her, every day. Purposefully avoided her. He'd found himself staying on the bridge, or is CIC more often than he used to, as they were two places she didn't ever venture. He briefly wondered if they would be able to move past all that had happened between them recently.

She lifted her head as he walked away, staring at the casually dressed, broad-shouldered captain and then dropped her head with a sigh. She had so many feelings these days, some more overwhelming than others. As she had looked at the picture of the embryo on the screen, she wondered if that would ever be her, lying on the exam table, the baby on the screen belonging to her.

And the longing didn't stop with a baby. The man she could barely hold a conversation with, the man she couldn't get off her mind was avoiding her just as well as she avoided him. She missed their comradery, their friendship, and had a terrible feeling things would never be the same between them. It seemed they would rather ignore the issues between them instead of work through them.

She rubbed her face, felt the stress of the last few weeks taking its toll. Maybe some fresh air and some dry land would do her some good. She definitely needed something good in her life.

* * *

_So this chapter didn't play out as I had planned, and ended up being a bridge chapter. I know, I know, I posted that sneak peek on my tumblr, please don't be mad it's not here! Don't you readers worry, I am DEFINITELY using it in the next chapter. I could have written for days on this chapter, but I want to make sure to keep you guys wanting ;) hehehe! Soooo Chapter 12 will be coming along soon! _

_Thank you for the incredible reviews! The reception of chapter 10 was a little slower than normal, I hope I haven't lost any readers. If I've done something wrong, please let me know. Nothing is irreversible or irrevocably broken, I can adjust to keep you enjoying the story! If I'm headed in the wrong direction, or something seems out of character, please tell me. I'm working very hard on this for y'all and I want to make sure you're enjoying it. _

_I promise, there will be some really great scenes in the next chapter. At least I think they're great! _

_Thank you for reading and reviewing, always!_


	12. Chapter 12

_I am really spoiling y'all with updates these days..._ _XD_

* * *

Rachel stepped onto the rocky coastline of the island, felt at ease. The sun was setting, the breeze was chilly, but the air felt incredible. She felt like she was being cleansed. She took a deep breath and began toward the large group of sailors, enjoying themselves as a couple of them played guitar, and Lt. Granderson sang along. She walked up to the large circle of people, a bonfire in the middle, and plenty of dancing going on all around.

Unintentionally, out of pure instinct, her eyes searched the crowd for one particular person. She spotted him yards away, playing what appeared to be tag with Ashley, Sam, and Ava. The kids were shrieking with laughter, and the scene brought an instant smile to her face. He lifted Sam up over his shoulder and spun him around, the girls laughing hysterically. It warmed Rachel's soul to see the children, including Ava, having a wonderful time with the Captain.

She settled down on a rock a little bit outside the circle, watching the crew dance and sing, listening to the wonderful music the two on guitar played. She rested her chin in her palm, which rested on her knee, taking in all of the happiness around her. Danny and Kara danced to the slow song, her arms wrapped around his neck, his face pressed into her neck. It seemed their relationship had only blossomed since they'd been outed during the trials. She was envious.

She looked around the group again, and was disappointed she had lost Tom and the kids. Her mind drifted back to the handsome captain, she missed his smile and his laugh. She wasn't entirely sure how to go about the conversation she wanted to have with him, how to go back to being friends. She'd been thinking about it constantly, amongst other things about the man, and she wished it was so much easier. She didn't know how it could be, but she so wished it was.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a young voice crying out. She heard it behind her, surprised as the kids had been on the other side of the fire not long ago. She turned, looking around, and saw Sam on the ground a few yards away, holding his knee. She was on her feet and quickly by his side, concern evident in her actions.

"Sam! Are you all right?" She asked, her hand running over the young boy's hair soothingly. He sniffled, looking up at her, his eyes glossy with tears.

"I tripped and hit my knee on that rock," he pointed to the one a foot away, "it really hurts," he was trying so hard not to cry and Rachel admired his toughness. He got it from his father, she knew.

"I bet it did! Can I take a look?" she asked, reaching for his pant leg. He nodded, releasing his knee and letting her pull up the jean material. She couldn't see too much detail in the dull light, but she knew he hadn't done any real damage. A small cut was on the knee cap, and she blew across it, helping to sooth the sting. "Looks like just a scrape, though you'll have a bruise in the morning. Do you want to go back to the ship for ice?" She didn't mind tending the boy's wounds, and would take him back to the ship immediately if he asked. He sniffled and shook his head, not ready to give up his fun. She grinned. "You're a brave one, you know that?" She encouraged, standing and helping him up.

"My dad tells me that all the time," he spoke proudly, his tears forgotten, his spirit lifted. She smiled at the young child warmly.

"I bet he does," she leaned a little closer, indicating a secret. Sam eagerly leaned in. "You get that from him," she winked at him, and the small boy stood a little taller with a bright smile.

"Thanks Dr. Scott!" he exclaimed, before running off to find his sister. Rachel wrapped her arms around herself and watched him, an overwhelming sense of adoration coming over her for the children.

"You're good with them," a deep voice caught her off guard, and as she turned, she saw Tom's father walking toward her. She grinned, her cheeks turning pink.

"They're wonderful children," she replied, not responding directly to his comment. She took it to heart, though, happily.

"They really are," he nodded. She noticed how much healthier he looked since the last time she'd seen him. Tom definitely got some of his good looks from the older man. A new tune began, a slower one than the previous, and he outstretched his elbow. "Care for a dance, Dr. Scott?" he asked with that charisma she'd seen on Tom before. Her laugh was heartfelt and real, as she impulsively looped her arm through his.

"Sure. Please, call me Rachel," she replied, allowing him to lead her out to the area where many people were dancing in pairs. She placed her hand on his shoulder, as he took her other hand and placed on high up on her back.

"Only if you call me Jed," he replied playfully.

"Fair enough, Jed," she replied equally as playful. They danced in a small circle, rocking easily to the music.

"So what's your story, Rachel?" It was a simple question that she didn't entirely know how to answer simply.

"I'm a doctor, a paleomicrobiologist. I've traveled extensively, I love Italian food, a good book, and a glass of red wine," she wasn't sure how to answer, so she played it safe.

"Husband? Kids? Dog?" he asked, assessing her reaction. She threw her head back and laughed, for some reason finding his question laughable.

"No, no. Haven't found any time for that," she replied, her voice giving away her regret. He eyed her, reading her.

"Really? A woman dedicated to her profession. All right," he was thoughtful for a moment, "My son tells me you single-handedly created the cure to the Red Flu," he told her, as she laughed again, this time raising her eyebrows in surprise.

"Don't believe everything he says," her laughter quieted and she looked down, her cheeks warm from the attention. Jed didn't look worried.

"He speaks very highly of you," he countered, spinning her around. She settled back in his arms, but stayed quiet. "Admires your work," he added, choosing his words carefully. Tom talked about this woman a lot, Jed had to see whether she was as charming as Tom made her out to be. So far, he was taken by her. And from the look on his son's face several feet away, watching them, so was he.

Tom watched her dance with his father, watched her throw her head back in laughter at something Jed said. Her hair was down, a rare occurrence, and it flowed in the light breeze. She looked relaxed, like she was enjoying herself even. Jed spun her around to the catchy tune that filled the air. His crew was quite talented on guitar, but Tom didn't hear it, he was too distracted by her.

He watched them talk, wondered briefly what his father could possibly be telling her, what stories he could be sharing. He took a drink of the cup of water in his hand, his throat suddenly dry.

He missed her, longed to talk to her. They were playing this battle of wits, both avoiding the other. He knew his reasons for avoiding her, imagined hers were different. Kissing her and then telling her to get out was probably a good place to start the apologizing, he thought ruefully. And maybe explaining why he'd been so upset about her behavior, going off ship against his wishes. He wasn't worried about her; he was worried about all the things that could happen to her. If he lost her….his heart ached at the thought. He'd already lost so much.

The slow song ended, and a more upbeat tune began. Several people clapped along, and Tom watched his crew, his family, enjoying themselves. Alisha had an incredible voice, and mixed with a few of the male crew singing along with her, it was a nice blend. He looked away from the crowd to see Rachel rocking to the music, clapping along, and staring directly at him. He couldn't read her expression, but her eyes were locked on his. Sam popped up from between her and Jed, and she broke the eye contact, laughing down at his son. The feeling in his chest, the feeling in his heart, he couldn't explain it to himself, or chose not to even. He just couldn't stop watching her.

The girls appeared beside her then, and Rachel felt settled and comfortable between the three children and Tom's father. The girls sang along, their arms linked. Ashley, who was standing closest to her, linked her arm through hers, and Rachel grinned down at the child. She looked up to catch Tom's eyes again, intense from across the crowd and the fire, the warm flames lighting him up enough for her to see the soft grin on his features. She was taken aback by the look he was giving her.

Jed watched the two, neither of which noticed. He knew they only saw each other in this moment, and he could tell that there was something between them. He planned on asking Tom about it later, when they headed back to the ship. Sam leaned against him and yawned. He knew what that meant.

"You ready for bed, buddy?" He asked Sam, rubbing his back. Sam reluctantly nodded, his eyes heavy. Ashley yawned, followed by Ava. Ashley leaned into Rachel, who wrapped her arm instinctively around the little girl. Ava leaned on her other side, and Rachel enjoyed the feeling of being needed. When she looked up Tom was before her. He smiled kindly at her, noted how neither of his children moved to him, content where they were. He was pleased by their relaxed demeanor.

"Looks like we've got some worn out kiddos," he observed, ruffling Sam's hair.

"I'll take them back to the ship, you two enjoy your evening," Jed glanced at his watch, and then back at Tom. "The night is still young," the wink Jed gave his son was not lost on Rachel. She blushed.

"Really, Dad, I can take them back," Tom offered arguably. Jed shook his head and Tom knew the decision had been made. Even at forty-one, he knew better than to argue with the retired Army Ranger.

"Come on kids, say goodnight to your father," Ashley left Rachel's side to hug her father, Sam following suit. Quincy and Kelly were aboard ship, enjoying some alone time, Rachel knew they'd be expecting Ava soon anyway. The children shared 'I love yous' and 'goodnights' with their father, before following Jed back to the rib waiting to transport people back to the ship. Rachel and Tom stood awkwardly for a long moment, neither saying anything.

Rachel noted the way Tom looked younger tonight, in his casual clothes, his hands tucked deep in his pockets now. The uniform mixed with his gray hair made him look distinguished. Tonight, in the dusk and fire light, he looked several years younger and more relaxed.

"You want to take a walk?" Tom suggested, a little shrug to his shoulders. Rachel glanced up at his handsome face and nodded.

"Okay," she replied, letting him pick the direction and the pace. They walked in silence for a few minutes. She was enjoying his presence alone, just the feeling of him next to her was enough for now. After a bit, she spoke first. "Your children are really great," she offered, chancing a glance up at him as they strolled. He smiled.

"Thank you. Darien raised them well," he replied, his voice sounding distant. Rachel presumed it was because he was thinking of the past. She chose to ignore it. "I was gone a lot, she worked really hard to make sure they were well adjusted."

"They are," she assured him. "What would have been your next career move after this mission, had all gone to plan?" She asked curiously.

"I would have been promoted to rear admiral, taken a desk job with the Pentagon. That was the plan, anyway," he laughed ruefully, "This is definitely a little more exciting."

"Well, that's putting a positive spin on it," she laughed a little, wrapping her arms around herself, the chill in the air seeming to go right through her button down cotton jacket. He looked down at her, her porcelain skin lit up by the moon. She was beautiful tonight.

"Everything happens for a reason," he responded, and though it sounded cliche, he believed it. There had to be a reason behind why he lost his wife, why all this had happened. As he watched Rachel walk beside him though, he was pretty sure he knew at least one reason, as hard as it was sometimes to think about.

They walked in silence again, Rachel thinking about all the things she wanted to say to Tom, all the thoughts running through her head. She wanted to talk about the kisses they'd been sharing, the feelings that sat in the pit of her belly. But the words just wouldn't come out.

"So," Tom began tentatively, deciding to push himself to get it off his chest, "I'm.. sorry I kissed you," he forced out, the words carrying more weight than he could comprehend. Was he really sorry? How did he mean that statement? Even he wasn't sure.

Rachel sucked in a breath, surprised by the admission, and surprised by the way her stomach dropped. He was sorry? "Oh," was all she could squeak out. She had thought through this conversation starting all sorts of ways, but never like this.

"It wasn't the right way to handle the situation, or an appropriate response to my being upset with you," Tom got the words out, but was beginning to wish he hadn't said anything, as she remained quiet. "All it has done is create animosity between us, and we can not function on board the ship in this fashion." Really, he just missed her. He couldn't find the words to say that though.

His professional tone reappeared, and she had to bite her tongue before she said something she'd regret. She took her time formulating a response, was having trouble finding the right words. "I understand," she replied softly. Tom couldn't read the meaning behind her words.

He stopped walking, needed to see her face, needing to know all was well. She stopped along side him, and he silently begged for her to look up at him. When she did, he couldn't read her reaction. "Will you accept my sincerest apologies?"

He wore that lop-sided boyish grin that made her weak in the knees. She couldn't be mad at him, anger was not a feeling she had when it came to this man. "I suppose I also owe you an apology for kissing you in the ward room," she mumbled, as if against her will. She finished the words with a small smile, "I accept your apology."

"And I accept yours," he chuckled a little, his expression was one similar to relief. He stuck out his hand. "Friends?" He needed her to say yes, needed her agreeing that this was the best way to handle everything. A beat passed before she accepted his hand, shaking it, relishing in the warmth the strong hand provided.

"Friends," she agreed, finding it deep within herself to smile at him. She couldn't be mad, realistically, how could anything become of their friendship at this point anyway? Not too mention, fraternization was banned on such ships, not that the rule had stopped Danny and Kara from falling in love and conceiving a child. She shushed her busy mind.

They began walking back toward the group, which was a good distance away. "Pretty neat seeing the baby today," he started up the casual conversation, wanting to ensure they were okay. A grin spread across her pretty face.

"Very much so. I'm not so sure how the birth will go aboard a destroyer, but we have six more months to figure it out," she laughed a little and he enjoyed the sound more than he thought he should.

"Did you ever want children?" He asked curiously. She giggled.

"Your father asked me almost the same question," she replied softly. Tom made a mental note to ask his father about that. "I always have, still do. It's just never been the right time, or the right person," she spoke softly, chancing a glance up at him. He looked thoughtful. "It's probably not in the cards for me, at this point," she added, in light of everything they were going through, and that the world was experiencing.

"You never know," he shrugged, his mind playing out a picture of a pregnant Rachel. He shook his head to remove the imagine, couldn't go there.

She laughed, "I'm not sure the Nathan James can take more than one infant."

"If it's our home now, we should probably start making it more accepting and accommodating of those types of things. It's bound to happen," he shrugged again, and she found herself over analyzing his words.

"Let's just see how everything goes with Kara," she replied, uneasy with the idea.

They made their way back to the ribs, silently both deciding it was time to head back. She took a seat, as he stood above her, unconsciously stationing himself there to shield her from the cold wind on the ride back. Both played their conversation over in their minds, neither necessarily content with the others words. Tom was internally conflicted, while Rachel knew it was only a matter of time before being around the Captain became unbearable due to her growing feelings.

_Friends,_ she said the word in her mind with disappointment. It would have to be that way for now, she decided. It was better than nothing.

They climbed aboard the _Nathan James_, and walked through the helo bay door, into the lab. She checked on her work as he waited patiently to walk her to her stateroom, ever the gentleman. They walked shoulder to shoulder as far as they could go, before he dropped behind her, following her closer than he should have been. The scent of her was still very vanilla, but a new spice had joined it, and he'd spent most of their walk subconsciously trying to decide what she smelled of now. He enjoyed it, more than he knew he should.

She stopped in front of her door, leaning on the handle. "Thank you for the escort, Captain," she spoke, looking up at him. His gaze down at her was soft, sweet even.

"You're welcome, Rachel. Please, call me Tom. I think we're above titles now," he replied, surprising her with his request. She nodded. Him saying her name gave her chills. It was so out of the ordinary.

"Okay, Tom," the word slipped of her lips easily, and was music to his ears. "Goodnight, then," she turned toward the door, and he found himself grabbing her arm instinctively.

She looked down at this hand and back up at him, her eyes questioning.

"Meet me for coffee in the morning? On the east bridge wing, at sunrise? The view is exceptional," he fought the urge to kiss her, shamed himself for having just apologized for it, now wishing he could take it back. Instead, her company would just have to suffice.

This man was making it his job to confuse her feelings, she decided. There was no way she was declining his invitation though, ever. "Of course," she replied immediately, barely taking a moment to think about it.

He grinned down at her, releasing her arm slowly, his fingers brushing along her skin. "Great," he spoke, his tone exposing his pleased demeanor. "I look forward to it," He turned to leave, giving her one last smile, "Goodnight, Rachel," he murmured.

She could feel her insides melt. "Goodnight, Tom."

* * *

_I'm really proud of this chapter...just sayin'! I really hope you guys enjoyed this! _

_Please know I really have no reference for the Navy jargon I've used other than the research I've done, which is not too extensive due to my updating time frame. Bear with me, don't judge. I am not military, and am going off a lot of what I see and hear on the show. A disclaimer I should have used in the beginning!_

_HPfangirl13-I hope this satisfied your craving for some bonding! We'll see more, though, so don't worry!_

_Thank you to xUndomiel-Evenstarx for her incredible help with Rachel and her British talk! :) _

_I am really excited to keep on moving with these two! Keep the PMs and sweet reviews coming! They are very helpful when it comes to writing these chapters. _

_Thank you for reading and reviewing! XO_


	13. Chapter 13

Rachel leaned against the metal railing, staring out at the trail of waves the ship left behind. The sun had already set, and they were headed back south. She'd heard rumblings they were going to attempt to stop in Virginia or South Carolina, looking for easy-to-access Naval bases. Docking wasn't necessarily an option due to safety, but they could send a team in to assess the situation on land in those areas.

It had been a few days since Maine, a few days since her slightly disappointing conversation with the Captain on land. They'd shared coffee together the next morning, but her spirits were down. He'd apologized for kissing her; it was a small slap in the face. Then again, she hadn't meant to kiss him in the ward room that night, and was still consumed with guilt. But that didn't change the fact that she had enjoyed it, more than she could really admit to herself for fear of her feelings taking over. She was beginning to become a professional at keeping them at bay.

She thought back to their conversation while watching the beautiful sun rise over the desolate Maine island.

_As she walked up behind him, she admired his Navy issued sweatpants, paired with sneakers, and his large Navy hoodie. He looked like he was headed for the gym. She walked up next to him, snuggled in her big gray sweater, long sleeve shirt underneath, and black cotton leggings. She had changed three times. Since when did she care what she wore? _

_He smiled down at her with his trademark smile and her heart skipped. Why did he have to be so handsome? He needed to tone it down, she laughed inwardly at her distractedness. _

"_I'm glad you came, I was starting to get worried," she wondered what he meant by that statement. Worried she wouldn't show? Worried about her? _

"_I'm sorry I'm late," was her only reply. If she hadn't changed, she would have been on time. She looked out over the horizon and took in the beauty. She could feel his eyes on her and when she chanced a glance, he looked away at the view. She couldn't read the man next to her this morning. Just when she had thought she was beginning to understand him, he turned the tables and she was back in the dark again. A large sigh escaped her lips. _

She had enjoyed his company immensely, but when they'd parted ways, she hadn't realized it would be for the next few days. They'd passed here and there on the ship, but for the most part, they were both busy with their own duties.

She had heard from some sailors that his birthday was coming up. They were planning a small party, hoping to be able to bake a small cake. Something to celebrate, and show their captain their appreciation. She thought it was sweet, had asked to be informed of the plans.

She took a deep breath, inhaling the salty scent of the air. She heard footsteps behind her, and was surprised to find Jed stepping up beside her. She was disappointed it wasn't someone else.

"Good evening, Rachel," Jed greeted, handing her a cup of warm liquid. She smelled the chamomile tea and smiled in thanks. "Saw you standing out here and thought I'd bring you something warm. It's chilly out," he paused to take in the view. "Might help you sleep too. You leave something behind in Maine?" His words intrigued her, and somehow she knew she had been caught.

"Not anything I could carry," she replied just as cryptically, not meeting his eyes. He nodded knowingly.

"Tom met Darien when he was headed for Annapolis. He was eighteen, she was sixteen. They began a long distance relationship, that blossomed into a real love when he graduated. She was meant to be a military wife, embraced it. He was gone for months at a time, and she never complained. She worked as a teacher on base." Rachel listened to his words silently. She wasn't sure where he was going. "Ashley was born healthy. Tom lived to be a father, despite his time away. He came home just in time for Sam's birth, five weeks premature. I think the stress of Tom's seven month deployment, while Darien tried to raise a three year old alone had something to do with it. He's strong like his father though, came out all right," he paused to take a sip of his tea. "I see the way he looks at you, anyone would be blind not to. But _he_ doesn't see it. He's only really been with Darien. If there's one thing my son is, it's loyal. To a fault."

Rachel hung off his every word, took it all in. She remained silent, unsure of how to proceed. Jed continued.

"They were together a long time, he's going to be forty-two years old. Give him some time, Rachel. This is all new ground for him," he squeezed her arm and gave her a small encouraging smile before heading back inside. She looked down at the water, then up at the stars. Jed had figured out her feelings for Tom, despite her denial of them to herself. And she took comfort in the fact that Jed seemed to suggest Tom felt something for her. The feelings she had gotten when they kissed, they couldn't have been nothing on his end, or he wouldn't have done it again. Maybe Jed was right, he was just confused. She closed her eyes, rubbed her forehead with her free hand. It was nothing she had to handle tonight, nothing she had to act on immediately. She could take it day by day. It's not as though they were really going anywhere.

* * *

"Tommy, if she'd thought you would have taught her, she would have asked," Jed eyed his son, raising an eyebrow as he watched Mike instruct Rachel on how to use the high-powered rifle. Tom stood quietly, observing. He didn't give much indication of his dismay, but then again, to his father, he didn't need to.

"Thanks for the pep talk, Pop, but I'm not fifteen," he snapped, immediately regretting his tone. Jed crossed his arms, standing shoulder to shoulder with his son.

"Could've fooled me," he chided with a chuckle, glancing sideways at Tom, who scowled. Rachel fired the gun, and the recoil sent her backwards into Mike, who was there to make sure she didn't fall. Rachel let out a shaky laugh that Tom could hear from where he was standing above, and Mike gently corrected her movements and encouraged her to try again. The way Mike touched her arm, her shoulder, made his blood pressure rise. He was frustrated by the sight and frustrated by his feelings about her. He'd been trying so hard to not let her get to him, but every time they so much as passed in the p-way, he couldn't stop the rush he felt.

* * *

Rachel winced, putting the bag of ice on her sore shoulder. Her adventures on deck had left her a nice bruise on the front of her shoulder, and she wished she'd had more muscle in that area to protect her. She stepped out of the crew lounge and bumped straight into Tom. She huffed at the pain and swore under her breath.

Tom reached to steady Rachel, noticed the way she help the ice pack to her shoulder. He tried to hide his knowing smile. When she looked up at him, he could tell she knew what he was thinking.

"Don't say anything. I don't want Commander Slattery to think I'm a wimp," she replied, a self-deprecating laugh escaping her lips.

She was embarrassed he was seeing her this way, and could feel the heat in her cheeks.

"I have something that will help. Follow me," he stepped ahead of her, and she followed dutifully. She noticed again how well he fit into his BDUs, and it was a comfortable sight. He looked so strong, so much the Captain. She followed him up to his cabin, and he opened the door for her, allowing her in. He shut it behind him. He opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a roll-on tube of BioFreeze. She practically cried with joy. "This will help ease the pain," he handed it to her, "but go easy, it's all I have left," he teased.

"Thank you. I am so relieved you have some of this. The ice hasn't been helping much," she set down the bag of ice and Tom watched her strip off her sweater. The milliseconds it took made him question what she had on underneath, and he didn't respond for a moment, gathering himself at the sight of her in her tank top. "I'll put it on here, I just need a little bit," she replied, not noticing his gaze or lack of words.

"Here, let me help," the words were out before he could stop them, and he took the roller from her, moving to her shoulder.

She sucked in a breath, surprised by his offer. His large hand rested on the back of her sore shoulder, and the feeling sent chills down her spine. Her skin warmed under his touch, her stomach flip-flopped. This is why she avoided him, she turned to mush in his presence these days, especially under his touch.

He carefully rolled the pain reliever over her bruised shoulder, taking in the feeling of her skin under his finger tips, and the smell of her shampoo. Her hair was still wet from her shower, and he had to rid the thoughts from his mind before he got himself into trouble.

The cooling feeling immediately set it, but for the most part, all she could feel was his hand across the back of her shoulder, where his fingers barely touched her neck.

"Slattery should have started you on a smaller caliber. The gun you were using had too much kick." She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, wondering if he'd seen her practicing. She had asked Mike to show her how to use one in case she needed to know. He'd obliged, and she was grateful. But in retrospect, as she let the Captain roll the pain reliever over her shoulder, maybe he would have been a better choice. She hadn't thought he would have had the time to show her. "Don't worry, your muscles will get stronger and more used to it," he encouraged softly.

He brushed her skin as he removed his hand, running his fingers over the soft skin of her back. He wanted to pull her in, fought the desire to.

She didn't know what to do in that moment, she only knew she didn't want to leave his cabin just yet. "Thank you," she said again, the pain already easing. He capped it, and placed it back in the drawer.

"You know where it is now in case you need it," he grinned at her, his voice quiet, "it's our secret though, don't tell anyone," he practically whispered playfully. She laughed a little and put a finger to her lips.

"Promise," she responded, sliding her sweater back over her head. She pulled her ponytail loose of the collar of the cowl neck, shaking it out. When she looked back at Tom again, he had that same look he'd had the last time they were alone together in here, when she'd given him the vaccine. She felt warm under his gaze, felt that now familiar skip of her heart.

They locked their gaze, and they stood like that for a long moment. She didn't know what to say, couldn't break the spell he had her under, his ocean eyes pulling her in, even if his hands weren't. He took a step forward, and suddenly he was closer than she was ready for. She felt her breath hitch. Her heart raced.

Tom didn't know what he was doing, wasn't thinking consciously about his motions. He reached up, and pushed the few stray hairs she had behind her ear. He searched her eyes, searched her face for any hesitation or encouragement for him to stop what he was about to do. Who was he kidding, he wasn't sorry he had kissed her in Boston. He was only sorry he had kissed her in the heat of the moment, not soft and slow, the way she deserved to be kissed, the way he was dying to kiss her.

His knuckles ran down her cheek and she didn't move, didn't breath, afraid to break the moment. She didn't know where he was going with this, what he was doing, but she couldn't walk away now.

"Rachel," he whispered, licking his lips, "I don't know if I'm-"

The cabin door opened quickly, Ashley storming in angrily, "Dad! Sam took my book and hid it and won't tell me where it is!"

"Dad! Ashley pushed me!" Sam came rushing in after and the two adults were forced apart. Tom pursed his lips and closed his eyes in frustration, yet again their private moment interrupted. Rachel, however, immediately stepped into the parenting role, attempting to diffuse the situation.

When Tom had counted to ten, he opened his eyes to see her reasoning with both children, all three ignoring his standing motionless in the room. Each child stated its case, and Rachel encouraged a truce, as Ashley apologized and Sam went to retrieve the hidden book. He marveled in her handling of his children, her ease and patience.

She welcomed the distraction, finding herself not sure if she was ready for him to kiss her once more only to regret it after. She followed Ashley out of the room, flashing a soft smile, her hands on Ashley's shoulders. "We'll talk later," she mouthed, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

* * *

_I hope you enjoyed this chapter. _

_In my mind, and after watching many of the episodes over and over during my long hours on the treadmill, I think Rachel's feelings have grown faster than Tom's. And now, with Darien dead, I would imagine that he's still having a hard time with his. He misses his wife, but really cares for Rachel. Hence Jed's speech. I hope you all understand where I'm coming from here. _

_Please let me know your thoughts, they're a HUGE part of this story. I didn't want to play up the jealousy part too much because, though the writer's have set up moments for Rachel with Tex and even Mike, I really think she only has eyes for the Captain. _

_And I think her scene with Ava in the finale shows us how comforting she will be with the children. :) _

_Thank you for reading! Please leave a review, no matter how small! They really help me know where to take this story next! (Please leave a positive one too...the negative ones really don't make me want to continue :/ )_


	14. POLL

Hey all!

I just posted a **poll** on my profile for this story! It would mean TONS if you'd take a moment to participate! :)

Don't worry, I'm half way done with the next chapter, and you'll get an update soon, but I want to see what you think about the direction we're moving in and where we should take this story before I finish it.

I am SO honored and speechless with the reviews I've been receiving on this story. I can't believe it has 220+ reviews! You all are SO incredible and I am so taken by the time each of you give me by reviewing. Your reviews mean the world to me, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know there are still plenty of people who read and don't review-if you could leave just a few words to let me know how you're feeling, or at least take a moment to participate in the poll, it would be so greatly appreciated.

You all are amazing and I write this fic for each and every one of you! Thank you! Thank you soo much! XO


	15. Chapter 14

Rachel could feel the boat come to a stop, the engine going still. She smiled to herself, finished up her work in the lab. They were anchoring right outside Charleston Harbor, off the coast of South Carolina, to get supplies from the area. They chose Charleston due to the lack of distress calls, hoping for an easy get in-get out situation. They were still trying to decide whether docking in Norfolk was a good idea, despite having the vaccine and their diligent work to mass produce it; they were still in dangerous territory. They had learned their lesson in Baltimore, and were taking any on-shore excursions very seriously.

Rachel was happy that today was one of those days however-the Captain would be going with them. And that pleased her because she and the children had a plan. Most of the crew was also in on their plan. Tom, however, had no idea.

As soon as the captain disembarked, she'd be heading to the galley with Sam and Ashley to make a cake for Tom. It was his birthday, and the kids had asked if they could make him a cake, which turned into an impromptu planning of a surprise party. As long as no one was injured on their mission, the party would go off as soon as they were back on board with their supplies. She was thrilled they had asked for her help.

The door to the lab opened causing her to jump from her thoughts. Tom stepped through the threshold, his decontamination suit tied around his waist, his broad upper body filling out his tee-shirt in a way she didn't think anyone else could. She grinned upon seeing him.

"Happy birthday, Captain," she greeted him, the first time she'd seen him this morning. She'd been up before sunrise, preparing vaccine injections for the sailors to take ashore with them. His eyes showed her his entertainment at her words.

"Don't remind me," he chuckled, "Forty-two sounds old. Let's pretend I'm thirty-nine," he kidded, crossing his arms easily, leaning against the side of the helicopter bay where she typed away on her computer. He admired how she was always casually and comfortably dressed, today no exception, her hair pulled up into a ponytail, her face practically void of any makeup. He admired her beauty for a quiet moment. She captivated him and his thoughts.

She stopped typing, looking up at his handsome face, resting her hands under her chin.

"I think the gray compliments your features," she spoke sincerely, with a playful smile. She meant every word, his gray hair suited him. She couldn't imagine him any younger; his full jawline and distinguished appearance was handsome.

His laugh was a full one, and she could feel her smile spread farther across her face. "I've been graying for years, I think the last six months definitely didn't slow the process," his laughter turned into a sigh, before he suddenly grew serious. Her smile dropped a bit, unsure of his sudden change in demeanor.

Tom felt torn between staying aboard with his kids, and leading the crew ashore. He had been riding the fence for two days, but now, as they dropped anchor, he knew he needed to leave Slattery aboard this time and head to land himself. It was only fair.

But the kids…the thought made him sick. What if something happened to him? And what about her? He'd been talking to his father, unwillingly, about her after the night in Maine. Jed knew something was up and had no problem voicing his thoughts to Tom. Tom, on the other hand, generally kept quiet when Jed shared his thoughts. He wasn't sure if he was ready to tell her anything yet. But the more he looked at her, as she smiled up at him, he found himself drawn into her, wishing he had more time.

"I appreciate you not fighting me when I asked you not to go ashore this time," his words were heartfelt, and he meant every one, "Your staying with the kids means a lot. My father needs a break, and I feel comfortable with them under your supervision," He couldn't find the right words, couldn't bring himself to say more.

His face was so serious, and suddenly it dawned on Rachel why. "Save your goodbyes, Tom. You'll be back aboard ship for dinner," she pushed away from the desk and stood up, avoiding the conversation. She couldn't bare to think he wouldn't return with the crew. She moved to the small case, flipping the lid open to pack the supplies they might need.

Tom watched her avoid the conversation, avoid his eye contact. He took a deep breath, pushing the thoughts from his mind. If she wasn't willing to talk about it, then he wouldn't push it. He trusted his instincts, trusted his training. He knew they would most likely return unscathed, but the prospect of danger worried him.

"Very well," he replied with a sigh, accepting that she wouldn't talk more. He walked around her desk to stand beside her.

She could feel the heat that radiated from him, felt her hairs stand on end. Her entire being turned into a ball of nerve endings. Being so close to him had that effect on her lately.

"Hey," he touched her elbow gently, and she looked up at him, turning a little toward him. She cocked her head to the side, taking in his expressive features. His eyes were soft as he gazed down at her, "Can we talk..later? When I get back?" his eyes were questioning her, and she felt worry rise in her chest.

"Of course," she replied quickly, forgetting about their celebration. "Is everything all right?"

"Yeah..yes, everything is fine," he was also quick to respond, to squash any worry she had. "I just…want to catch up with you," he again couldn't find the right words, but by the ease in her eyes, she seemed to accept his statement.

"Of course," she smiled warmly, a small bubble of butterflies building in her stomach. "You know where to find me," she held his gaze, his eyes a magnet for her.

He searched her face, couldn't pull his eyes away. Her beauty had him transfixed. It seemed she was able to distract him from everything these days, with just one look.

"Good. I'll see you later then," he stood awkwardly for a moment, and she wasn't sure if he was going to hug her or something else, before he stepped off with a smile, heading back through the hatch and out to catch the boats.

She watched him go and prayed he would safely return. The days that passed brought them closer together, professionally and otherwise. He occupied so much of her thoughts, she could sometimes barely sleep. If something happened to him...the devastation would be irreparable. It surprised her to realize that.

She chose not to think about what ifs, focused on the day ahead, and what their conversation would entail later that night.

* * *

"And that, my dears, is how you make a scone," she pulled the warm pastries from the oven to the sounds of joy from the kids. They'd been baking all afternoon. She had been surprised by the amount of baked goods the DDG actually had, and they had ended up making an assortment of treats. Rachel had been worried about the powdered eggs and powdered milk at first, but after their first attempt at a cake had turned out well, they had proceeded to make brownies and scones, along with two other cakes. There wasn't enough for everyone on board, but there would be plenty of food, she knew.

The kids were having a blast; this their first normal experience aboard the ship. They talked of baking with their mother, which Rachel found sweet. Even Ava had joined in on the fun; she and Ashley were becoming quite good friends. Rachel had let each child mix their own ingredients, teaching them about measuring and the care that went into each dessert.

She thoroughly enjoyed the kids, was beginning to get attached. She could feel it in her soul. She'd been spending more and more time with them over the days, getting to them individually. Ashley was interested in the lab, and how things worked, while Sam just needed motherly company. They both missed their mother more than they would say out loud to her, but when they would lean on her shoulder while they watched a movie, or ask her for help with something, she knew they wished she was someone else. But she understood their loss, and knew it was nothing personal. At least she could be there along the way to offer what comfort she could.

Ashley tasted a little of the butter cream frosting, and wide grin spreading across her face. "Daddy is going to love this," she exclaimed, proud of her achievement.

"Rachel, do you really think he's going to be surprised?" Sam asked, glancing up from his work frosting one of the cakes. Rachel smiled at him sweetly.

"Oh yes, Sam. I don't think he has any idea this is coming," Rachel replied excitedly, leaning her elbows on the counter, watching the kids.

"Thank you for helping us, Rachel," Ashley spoke sincerely, her brown eyes wide and innocent. Rachel's heart swelled at the words.

"It is my pleasure."

* * *

_I know, I know, it's super short, but I am really struggling with the next part. Do y'all even want to read a bit about the party, or would you rather I just skip to their convo? Or maybe I'll bring in some action. Anyone have any ideas they'd like to contribute?_

_The poll results were interesting! 13 of you chose to keep things going as is, 9 of you want action, 7 would like fluff and 3 don't care either way. I am so touched that 29 of you voted! Thank you for your help! I'm working on a plan now, where we're headed._

_I'm posting another poll tonight, since the first was so successful. If you'd vote, it'd be greatly appreciated._

_I'm bringing some Slattery into the next chapter, I know KimmyH and a few others will enjoy it :)_

_Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing, despite the length of the chapter. I don't have a ton of time over the next two weeks to write, but I assure you that I will update as much as I can. I'm hoping for at least one more chapter before the 20th._

_You guys are incredible with the reviews and support! Keep 'em coming! They're very very motivating!  
_

_PS if any of you guests want to let me know what you are feeling about the poll question, it is "Do you guys want to read about Danny, Kara, and the baby?" I have a scene (it's definitely some Tom/Rachel too) about Kara and the baby, and I want to write it in, but again, I don't want to bore anyone. Thanks for thoughts!_


	16. Chapter 15

_**These chapters don't seem to ever go in the direction I intend for them to. I really hope you enjoy this chapter though, I think it's one of my favorites...**_

* * *

"Dr. Scott," Lt. Granderson entered the kitchen suddenly, finding Rachel and the children cleaning up after their fun afternoon. Rachel looked up from her work moving the brownies onto a platter, and felt her smile fall at the look on Alisha's face. "XO needs you on the bridge," she didn't reveal anything else, the children's round innocent eyes staring up at her curiously. Rachel nodded immediately. She turned to Ashley.

"Ashley, please finish plating these brownies. I will be back shortly," she offered the young girl a confident smile, who nodded and moved to step in for Rachel. Rachel wiped her hands on a towel and followed the young lieutenant up to the bridge where Mike was hovered over the Captain's chair, calling something on the radio. When he turned to face her, Rachel could tell he was stressed.

"Commander Slattery, what's going on?" She searched his face, a deep fear rising in her chest. He avoided her eyes.

"We've lost contact with the Captain, as well as Lt. Green's team. I wanted to keep you in the know since you're watching his kids," when he finally locked eyes with her, she could tell he knew there was more to it than her just watching his children. She felt her face pale.

"Well, what are you going to do? Can we send another team? Are we sure they are in danger?" The panic was evident in her voice. He chewed on his cheek, showing his unsureness.

"They weren't headed so far inland that we were prepared to lose contact, and no, I don't know if they're in danger. I think sending another team now is too soon. That doesn't mean I'm not nervous as hell," his response didn't give her much comfort.

"Don't they have flares? Like they did in Nicaragua?" She was desperate for anything good. Mike grimaced.

"No, because we didn't intend on losing them," he rolled his eyes at the stupidity that was the situation. They should always be prepared for anything, especially when their Captain was involved. This was supposed to be a quick mission, get what they needed and get back to the ship. Nothing ever went to plan, it seemed.

"So what do we do now?" Rachel replied, exasperated. Who knew what dangers were on land, anything could be going on that they knew nothing about.

"We wait. Hopefully they move back into radio range soon," he turned from the radar to face her again, this time, his eyes conveying comfort. "I know Tom, he's got this under control. It'll be okay," Rachel wasn't sure if he was reassuring her or himself, but she chose to accept his offer of confidence in his captain, and hope he was right.

* * *

Hours passed with no word. She kept the children busy as best she could, but they were too excited to keep distracted for long, waiting impatiently for their father's return. They speculated all day what their father's reaction would be upon entering the mess for his surprise party, and her heart warmed at the love and complete adoration they had for Tom. Despite the loss of the their mother, they were pushing on and living, enjoying life. She suspected Tom's never ceasing faith and love had something to do with it. If he didn't return...she pushed the thoughts away once more, for the umpteenth time today.

Jed found them on the front of the ship, the kids playing cards in the bright sun, Rachel sitting just a bit away, observing and worrying. He took a seat next to her, sliding a pair of sunglasses on.

"Any news?" she asked anxiously. His silence upon sitting told her there wasn't any, but she had to ask.

He shook his head. "No, nothing yet."

"I haven't told the kids yet. Figured we'd wait until dark," She pulled her sweater tighter around her, the anxiety of not knowing eating away at her. She dreaded the unknown, feared the worst. She should have gone with them. What if he was hurt? They had no medical personnel with them. She worried about all the uncontrollables, she couldn't help herself.

"He'll be back, Rach. I'm hoping it was something stupid; we're too far out in the harbor, or they went farther inland than they had anticipated. There's an air force base a little farther north. They may have went in that direction." She could hear the unsure tone in Jed's voice, but appreciated his words.

Jed watched her watch the children, could see the worry lines across her pretty face. She had taken to the children as if they were her own in recent days, it was a quiet change, but she made herself present in their lives. He admired her easiness with them, her calm demeanor. Tom had mentioned she could get wound up about her work, she was a passionate soul, but with the children, she was soothing and calm. Tom tended to be the more high-strung one when it came to the kids. She reminded Jed of Darien in that way. She had a way about her with the kids. She also had a way about her when she handled Tom.

"So," he changed the subject a little, "how's everything else going?" the small smile on his lips confused her a little.

"I'm sorry?" she questioned, not sure what he meant.

"Everything else. Has my stubborn son come around yet?" Jed cracked a knowing smile and Rachel laughed outloud, her cheeks growing red.

"Um, no," she shook her head, "We're just friends, Jed. Nothing more," she assured the older man, who raised his eyebrows.

"I find _that_ hard to believe. You may think you're just friends, keep on thinking that. He'll come around eventually," he added, with a chuckle.

"I think we've got enough going on," she replied, biting her lip thoughtfully, staring at the children.

"They like you. Accept it. It's a compliment."

"Yes, but they're fragile. They can't have their hearts broken once more," she replied. He wasn't sure if she meant by their father not returning or if it didn't work out between them.

"Who's to say it won't work out?" he countered.

"Who's to say it will?" she replied right back. He remained silent for a moment, and she gathered her thoughts. Truth was, she couldn't afford to have her heart broken. But the longer they went without contact from him, the more her heart ached. What if she was never able to tell him how she felt?

"At the risk of sounding like a parent, you never know until you try," he spoke with a grin. He could tell deep down she was fighting it, it was obvious. And he knew Tom was too. But with a little encouragement, he was confident they could take a small leap of faith. They already had that mutual respect and friendship, that bond that blurred lines, an undeniable chemistry.

"I am sure the last time I heard that statement, I ended up with skinned knees from falling off of my bicycle," she replied with a laugh. He laughed with her, the image entertaining.

"And now you're saving the world. You didn't know you could do that until you tried, did you?" He smiled triumphantly, happy with his argument. She scoffed, laughing a little.

"Touche'" she nodded, accepting his words.

"You don't really seem like a 'what if it fails..' type of girl," he added, studying her face. She dropped her head, chewing the inside of her cheek.

"Not when it comes to science. But relationships...those are a bit different."

Jed shook his head. "You're just as stubborn as he is. Maybe you're right, it wouldn't work," the tone in his voice dropped, and she turned to look at him, surprised.

"Who says two stubborn people can't be in a relationship?" She replied quickly, before the words could be stopped. His face broke into a smile and she knew she'd been caught. She rolled her eyes. "Well played, Mr. Chandler."

"When you're wondering where Tom gets his wit from..." This time she let out a true laugh. This man was a good man, and showed where Tom came from. He was raised very well. She admired his family and how important they were to him and he was to them.

"Tell me about when Tom joined the Navy. You were Army, correct?" Rachel turned to face Jed, drawing her knees up to her chest on the bench, wrapping her arms around her legs. The older man reared back, his expression changing to one of irritation that drew another laugh out of her.

"Oh, that brat had the nerve to come home his senior year of high school and tell me he was joining the Navy instead of the Army. I was so upset. Let me start from the beginning..."

* * *

Tom rolled his neck as he made his way down the p-way to the kids' cabin. It was an exhausting, trying day, and he could see the toll their lack of communication had on their crew. Their run-in with the Air Force had cost them their radios and guns for a better part of the day, but in the end there were released with the supplies they needed, the ability to get fuel, in exchange for the syringes of the cure they'd been carrying.

Tom was tired, but still on a mission. He needed to see his kids, his father, and her. He needed to see Rachel. Mike had carried a small smirk when he'd told Tom of the repercussions his missing in action had caused her, her worry for him. It pained him to cause her worry, but it also gave him a good indication of how she felt about him. Mike's knowing grin had helped that cause, as well.

He pushed open the door to the cabin his father shared with the kids, and found Jed alone, reading. Jed looked up, slight surprise on his face, but also an expectant look. He pulled his reading glasses off to get a better look at his tall son.

"Well hello, son. Nice of you to rejoin us," his smile let Tom know he was actually happy to see him, despite his teasing remark. Tom dropped his head with a small laugh.

"It's been a long day, Pop," he replied, asking not to be teased this evening. Jed could tell from the slight black eye and bruise growing prominent on Tom's jaw that it had probably indeed been a rough day. Jed laughed.

"You have this knack of getting yourself into trouble," he replied, with a fatherly grin. Tom chuckled.

"I know, I know. It's not as bad as it looks." He glanced around the cabin, "where are the kids?" he asked curiously, finding it hard to believe they were still awake somewhere at this time. Jed gestured past Tom to his own cabin with his glasses.

"They're in your cabin. They've been dying for you to come back today. We only told them a short while ago we weren't sure when you'd be back. They're with her," he added the last part, a knowing look in his older eyes. Tom nodded his gratitude, turning and crossing the hall quickly. He turned the knob, pushing open the door quickly.

The lights were off in the main area, illuminating the three souls on his bed. He noticed the large, hand-drawn card on the desk as he passed, a cake with candles waiting to be lit before it. A sweet smile crossed his face, imagining the children had been so excited to share in his birthday. He felt sad for a moment, having taken that moment from them. But when he turned back to the bed, he felt his heart swell.

Sam had his head on Rachel's stomach, arm around her waist, fast asleep. Ashley was snuggled against her shoulder where Rachel was propped up on pillows, her arms wrapped around Rachel's arm. Rachel lay between the two, her head turned slightly to the side, also fast asleep. He leaned against the frame for a moment, wishing to capture this moment forever.

The kids had taken to Rachel in a way no one could have predicted. And she always took time for them, spent time with them, had slid into a motherly role no one would have anticipated. If he had any reservations about talking to her about what he'd been feeling lately, this display before him put his heart at ease. All three of them snuggled together on his bed reminded him of past moments in his life, but also of what could be.

He moved forward, sitting on the side of the bed. His hand found her leg, stretched out on the bed, and he rubbed it gently with his thumb. When she began to stir, he noticed the way she squeezed her arm around Sam, pulling him closer. She opened her eyes slightly, tilting her head to face him. The relief and surprise that crossed her face immediately was all he needed to see. Her eyes watered a little, he could see the sheen, and squeezed her leg again, in comfort.

"Hi," he whispered, his eyes locked with hers. She was so overjoyed to see him before her. She was so tired, had no idea how long she'd been asleep, or even what time it was, but none of it mattered. Seeing him there made everything okay, set her world at ease.

"I was so worried," she whispered back, her tears of relief threatening to fall. "Your face..."she began, her eyes searching the wounds. She didn't move, didn't rustle the kids, almost worried the moment was a dream. She was elated to see him.

"I'm fine," he brushed off her concern, giving her a smile.

His trademark grin made her stomach flipflop.

"Are they okay?" he reached up to rub Sam's back, causing a sigh from the young boy. Rachel nodded.

"They made you cakes," she replied, gesturing toward the desk. He nodded with a grin.

"I saw," he paused for a moment, locking eyes with her again. "Thank you," his words were heartfelt, she could see the honesty in his eyes. She couldn't respond, didn't respond for fear of choking up.

Tom reached down and pulled Sam up, who woke at the motion. The little boy flung his arms around his father's neck, kneeling on the bed. "Daddy!" he exclaimed, his voice full of sleep and happiness. Ashley roused from her sleep at the word, and was hugging her father before Tom could say anything. He embraced the children tightly, the love he had for them so intense it brought tears to his eyes. Rachel drew her knees up, watching the scene before her. Ashley pulled back after a few moments.

"We didn't get to celebrate your birthday," she looked sad, and it made Tom sad.

"There's always tomorrow, baby girl. We'll eat cake all day, and play games. I promise," he kissed her forehead, and pulled her close. "I think for now it's time for bed though," he released Ashley, and stood with Sam, grasping Ashley's hand. Rachel moved to stand too, but Tom turned to her.

"Can you stay here for a minute? Let me get them settled. I'll be right back." He waited for her nod, needed her to stay. She nodded after a beat, and he smiled a little, turning to take the kids to their cabin.

When he returned moments later, he shut the door, and found her in the same spot he'd left her, sitting on the edge of his bed. He pulled off his BDU jacket, untucking his tee shirt. She watched him get comfortable, sliding over a little to accommodate him on the small bed. As soon as he sat, she was inspecting his bruises, feeling for swelling and broken bones. He laughed a little, before wincing at the pressure.

"What happened today?" she pulled her hands back when she was satisfied with her exam, pulling her legs up to sit cross-legged, searching his eyes.

"I don't want to talk about that right now," he replied, reaching across to grasp her hand. She squeezed his hand back, worry written across her face. He reached up with his other hand, sliding a piece of loose hair behind her ear, running his knuckles down her cheek softly.

"Is everyone-" he placed a single finger over her lips to silence her, a sweet smile on his face.

"Everyone is fine, we all made it back in one piece. We'll talk about today tomorrow. Right now, I have to get this off my chest because it's all I've been able to think about," he took a deep breath, grasping both her hands now. Rachel held her breath, unsure of what he was about to say. He also looked unsure, nervous even. She waited, with baited breath for him to continue. Instead of talking, he released one of her hands, reached up and cupped her cheek. He leaned forward and touched his lips to hers.

The jolt of electricity that spread through her body was like wildfire, igniting every nerve ending. It was soft, his lips were encouraging, and she couldn't help herself, kissing him back. It was a sweet kiss, an innocent kiss, as if he was testing the waters. His hand slipped back into her hair, and she leaned into his mouth, encouraging him on. Kissing him was like drinking water on a hot, humid day, she couldn't get enough.

He tried to hold himself back, reining himself in to not scare her away, but when she leaned into him, he was spurred on, kissing her deeper. Her lips were so soft, he couldn't get enough of the feel. He could feel her grip his bicep with her free hand, her other hand still holding onto his hand tightly. The kiss went on as long as he could let it before he had to come up for air, leaning back just enough, resting his forehead against hers.

She leaned back to search his eyes, afraid of what she might find. But all she found was that look, the one full of want and something else...possibly love? Passion? The man before her wasn't hard to read in his uniform, but now, before her in the dim light, she was having a hard time. She tentatively ran a hand over his soft gray hair, relishing in the feel of it under her fingers. She'd been wanting to do that for some time now.

"Don't you dare say you're sorry after this," she spoke quietly in a warning tone, a small smile playing at the corner of her lips, searching his ocean blue eyes.

He found a grin, and shook his head a little. "I'm not sorry," he replied, leaning in again, and attacking her lips with his once more.

* * *

_**Reviews are fuel for the writer's soul. Please leave at least a few words. **_

_**Thank you for your reviews on the last chapter! You all are incredible. Your faith in this story is amazing, and I am so glad you all are enjoying it! I hope you liked this chapter :D**_

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_**Thank you again for reading and reviewing! I write this story for you, the readers. Thank you for the encouragement and support! XOXO**_


	17. Chapter 16 RATED M

_**Oh lord….spoiling y'all again….HUGE. And this is rated M so please don't read if it will offend you. (You could skip it and read the next chapter if you wanted to..) I would almost call this an alternate chapter...depending on the reviews, I'll keep it here, if not I'll post it separately and we'll move on from where the previous chapter left off in a non-adult fashion. Let me know your thoughts...**_

* * *

Rachel leaned back to search his eyes, afraid of what she might find. But all she found was that look, the one full of want and something else...possibly love? Passion? The man before her wasn't hard to read in his uniform, but now, before her in the dim light, she was having a hard time. She tentatively ran a hand over his soft gray hair, relishing in the feel of it under her fingers. She'd been wanting to do that for some time now.

"Don't you dare say you're sorry after this," she spoke quietly in a warning tone, a small smile playing at the corner of her lips, searching his ocean blue eyes.

He found a grin, and shook his head a little. "I'm not sorry," he replied, leaning in again, and attacking her lips with his once more.

This time the kiss was deeper, filled with more passion. Tom explored her mouth with his tongue, much like their first kiss but this time voluntarily. When she moaned against his lips, he slid his arm around her slender waist, pulling her to him. Then, without parting their lips, he laid her back gently, making sure she landed comfortably against the pillows. He unwrapped his arm, lying down beside her, propping himself up on his elbow so he was over her but not crushing her.

She ran her hand up and cradled the back of his head, her fingers toying with the hair that lay at the base of his skull. She couldn't get close enough to him, felt like her body was on fire from all the feelings rushing through her. She didn't think for once, just let herself feel and enjoy being the center of his moment, the object of his affection here and now. And boy, did it feel amazing.

Tom stretched out against her side, pulling her close. He wanted desperately to be as close to her as possible, and as she rolled to her side and threw her leg over his hip, he deduced she felt the same. He grinned a little against her lips, sliding his hand down her side and then down her tone thigh, silently cursing the material of her sweatpants. He could also feel his belt pushing into his side uncomfortably, tried to ignore the sensation. He wasn't dressed for such a moment, his BDUs not his most comfortable choice of clothing. But as much as he wanted to get out of them, he didn't want to break this moment. He had her, he had her in his arms and he wasn't letting her go.

Rachel made a breathless sigh as Tom's lips drifted from her lips to her jaw line, kisses and nips cascading down her neck. When he came back up to her lips again, he moved to the other side of her neck, giving it an equal amount of attention. Rachel wasn't sure if she couldn't breathe because he was now leaning on her or if it was because she was so caught up in the attraction, the heat, she felt for this man. She hadn't anticipated her night heading in this direction, was glad she'd showered before climbing into bed with the children to read to them, glad she'd worn a better looking pair of comfortable clothes. But as he pulled the neck of her shirt back, she shuddered, and wished she could just discard the damn piece of cotton, as it was only hindering him on his mission.

Tom attacked her shoulder, feeling more desperate by the moment. Somehow he ended up on top of her, but she bared his weight just fine, her legs parting to let him lay comfortably between them. This woman was a match for him in passion; he had known it from the moment in the hanger during their first burning encounter. And now, as she writhed below him, her nails digging into his back through his tee shirt, he was sure of it. If they didn't stop soon, he'd be showing her just how much.

Rachel impulsively slid her hands up under his shirt, across the span of his broad muscular back, and felt him moan against her. She raked her nails across, giving him good indication that the work he was doing to the soft spot under her ear was working. She felt him drive his hips into hers and she sucked in her breathe at the sensation, followed by a little giggle. She felt him chuckle against her neck.

"You all right, Dr. Scott?" he asked playfully against her skin. The vibration of his words against her and the use of her professional title sent a shiver down her spine.

"Oh yes, Captain Chandler," she replied back in a breathy tone. It seemed to spur him on and she allowed her eyes to close as he ravaged her neck. She took enjoyment out of the feel of his thick back, all the way down to his obliques, where she gripped hard when he found a sensitive spot on her clavicle. She knew her shirt would be stretched out after their escapades, but she didn't care. All she wanted was for his mouth to never leave her body, not with the way he was making her feel.

He settled back onto his knees more, reached back with both hands and grabbing hers. He pushed them up above her head into the pillows, holding her wrists gently. He pulled back to take a look at the beautiful woman below him, vulnerable and wanting, her eyes telling him just how much. He left her hands their and reached to undo his belt, the damn thing leaving a mark against his abdomen. He watched her watch him pull it through the loops and discard it. She licked her lips, and he was now sure of how turned on he was, how much he wanted this woman, in all ways.

"Rachel," he breathed against her lips, placing feathery light kisses on her swollen ones. She opened her eyes and gazed up at him. He locked eyes with her brown ones. "I'm falling for you," he began, lying back against her, his hands reaching up to grasp hers, "hard." He finished his confession, not allowing her to respond, kissing her with such fire, she thought she'd melt.

He sucked the air out of her lungs with his kiss, leaving her breathless. She needed him, wanted him. She unwrapped her legs from around his waist, reached for the hem of his tee shirt and pulled. He moved enough for her to pull it and discard it over the side of the bed, her hands reaching up to his strong chest.

He took a chance, and reached for the bottom of her shirt, and when he went to lift the hem, she easily sat up and let him discard the material. The black cotton bralette was everything he wanted to see and more, her toned midsection drawing his eyes next. He didn't know where to place his hands first, but she didn't let him decide, pushing him backward from her sitting position and climbing on top of him. His eyes widened at the sudden change in dynamic, as she kissed up from his naval to his neck, but he certainly wasn't complaining. His hands rested on her hips as she got closer, hovering just over his lips.

"And I have already fallen for you," she whispered against his lips, much in the same fashion he had done to her. He grinned up at her before she crashed her lips into his, using one hand to steady herself and the other to cup his cheek.

He allowed her to have the upper hand for a little while, before flipping them back over. It had been a long time since he'd been intimate with a woman, and over 20 years since he'd been with another woman besides his late wife. He didn't doubt his skills, but he did doubt his stamina, he knew he wouldn't last long, especially if the foreplay continued.

She seemed to read his mind, reaching for the button on his pants. He gladly removed the material, and then pulled hers off, ridding her of any clothing left between them. He grabbed a pillow from behind him as she reached for his hard length, taking it in her hand. He sucked in a breathe, felt every fiber of his being go rigid at her touch.

She admired him before her, took in the contours of his body, as he stared down at her, a small sweet smile on his face. She was surprised at how comfortable she felt, how easy this was unfolding for them. They were grown adults after all. They weren't young teenagers; this was not their first time in this situation. But they weren't taking it lightly. Though she was certain they were both enjoying themselves.

She was anticipating his next move, he could tell, but instead he held her hands, took all of her in. She was stunning; her milky skin looked like porcelain against his dark sheets. Her hair was sprawled out behind her and he could tell by the look in her eyes, she was ready for him. He ran his hands down her body before leaning over her, positioning himself, eager and hesitant all at the same time. Rachel wrapped her legs around his hips as encouragement and he didn't need any further reinforcement, he slid into her, sighing as he did so.

Rachel arched her back off the bed, noises urging him on escaping her lips. He nuzzled her neck, kissed and licked along the vein there, before kissing her fervently. She gripped his back, whimpered for more, as he obliged, giving her all that he had. He was by no means rough with her, but he was zealous and skilled, knew all the right spots to hit, all the right ways to navigate those pressure points.

It wasn't long, as he predicted, before he was close. He looked down at her, saw her parted lips, her furrowed brow, and her closed eyes, knew she wasn't far off either. "Rachel," he whispered, and she opened her eyes, the look there sated and deep. He matched her intensity, wanted to take this leap together, gripping one of her hands tightly, pushing it into the mattress. He drove deeper into her a few more times before he felt her clench around him and he couldn't hold on any longer, collapsing onto her. She bit down on his shoulder to keep from crying out, and he buried his face in hers, riding the waves.

Rachel wasn't sure how long they laid there, connected, her arm wrapped around his sweaty shoulder, their hands still entwined, but she was at a loss when he shifted. He peered up at her, his face bruised and tired, but his eyes were clear and a smile lit up his handsome face. He kissed the tip of her nose, her cheek, her forehead and then her lips. She leaned up into him, relishing in his taste.

"Wow," she muttered when their lips parted. He chuckled, his cheeks turning a pinkish hue. He rolled off of her, much to her disdain, but then wrapped her up in his strong arms, pulling her back into his chest. They shared the pillow he had provided her with earlier, and he slipped kisses all long her neck. He heard her relaxed sigh, and felt more relaxed than he had in a long time. He sat up, pulling her with him, to the other end of the bed, wrapping them both up under his blankets. Both sated and at ease, neither chose to think about the magnitude of their actions, or the repercussions that could come from it. They instead took joy and comfort in their private quiet moment, knowing these were few and far between. He'd have to be on the bridge in a few hours, and she would need to check on a few cultures she had down in the lab.

But for now, it was just them.

* * *

Tom roused to rustling in the darkness. He could feel the cold spot beside him, knew she was getting dressed, no matter how much he didn't want it to be true. He flipped on the light by his bed and that brought her motions to an abrupt halt. Her hair fell over her shoulder, wild and unruly, as he blinked his eyes against the light, trying to adjust them. When he finally caught her eyes, she offered him a small smile.

"Hi," he offered. She blushed, dropping her eyes to the boots she was tying.

"Hello," she greeted, whispering. He glanced at the clock, saw it was only four hours after they'd fallen asleep. He needed to be up soon anyway.

"Where are you going?" he asked curiously, sitting up. As the blanket fell, exposing his chest, she desperately wanted to climb back in bed with him. But she couldn't.

"I need to shower and get down to the lab," he nodded, watching her braid her hair, trying to ease the untamed tresses, encourage them to look like she hadn't just been sleeping in the Captain's quarters. "If anyone asks, I was tending to your wounds," she instructed with a wry grin, knowing he didn't need to know her planned excuse. But at least now they'd have the same story in case someone caught her leaving now.

"I have another hour before I have to get up," he reached out for her hand and she obliged, letting him pull her back onto the bed. She couldn't resist his sincere smile, and those blue orbs. "You could come back to bed…" he let his words trail off, the huskiness of his voice indicating what he was thinking. She giggled, her face growing red.

"I'd love to but I do actually have to check my cultures. And you do actually need some rest," she touched his bruised eye for effect, as he winced at her touch.

"Can I come by for a checkup later?" he teased, his lips falling to her neck again. She sighed, closing her eyes. He had become a hormonal teenager overnight, and she knew if she let him, he could keep seducing her whenever he wanted. This was a side of him she didn't know, a side of him she very much wanted to know more about. She met his lips in a kiss, keeping him at bay.

"Possibly," she replied with a wink. He groaned at her, before kissing her again. "Meet the kids and me in the mess hall at 1300 for lunch?" she requested, a hopeful grin on her face. She knew what they really had planned. He returned the smile.

"Absolutely," he kissed her again, before lying back against the pillows. She stood and walked shyly toward the door.

* * *

_**Oh gosh, please be kind here. I gave this my everything, I debated on going this route, but again, I just type when I write this story and well, here we are! I'm happy with it. I hope those of you who read it are as well! They're grown adults...and there's no M rated Tom/Rachel out there so since I was the one of the first to post a fanfic for them I figured I'd be the first to take this step too, haha! **_

_**I'll try to update again this week but it might be next week before I can. Your reviews will play a big determination in whether I'm inspired to write more sooner rather than later ;) **_

_**Your reviews have been INCREDIBLE! Thank you all SO MUCH! I haven't had a chance to reply to each of your individually but I will, because you all are amazing. Thank you! Your reviews are what keep the creative juice flowing!**_

_**JOYS, I hope this was enough detail for you ;) hehe! **_

_**Again, check out my Tumblr for sneak peeks! :D**_

_**Thanks again for reading and reviewing! XO**_


	18. NOTE & Sneak Peek! Please read!

Hello all!

I hate posting another note but I'm in a bit of a pickle here, and don't want y'all to keep waiting for an update this weekend :(

My left wrist and hand were hurt on Thursday (ER visit and all), and I'm having some trouble typing, as you can imagine. They're not broken (thank goodness) but it's definitely slowing my writing progress. I'm almost done with the chapter, and I hope for the swelling and pain to be down enough to type comfortably in a few days. I know, that's a long time to wait, and you readers have been SO patient with your waiting thus far. I am SO sorry for this delay. Please know how much I appreciate the reviews and notes about how you're waiting for the update, and I promise, as soon as I can, I will update for you. You all are so incredible and I can't thank you enough for your support in this story. I am so, so thankful. Y'all are amazing!

Here's to hoping the wrist and hand heal quickly and I can get back to typing asap! (I wrote this post one-handed; it was not a quick process lol!) Thank you for your patience during this time!

XOXO

Here's a sneak peek from the next chapter:

_"Ugh, Rachel, focus," she chided herself, sighing heavily. She'd been down in the lab for three hours now, and had not gotten much done, as she was consumed by thoughts of her actions with the Captain hours earlier. The harder she tried to focus, the more she thought about his lips on her neck, his hands all over her body. She shivered again at the thought. _

_She needed to prep the mess hall for their celebration after breakfast was finished being served, and she was hoping that would help keep her mind off things. She really wanted to find him, shove him into a closet or storage room and have her way with him. That would not be productive for anyone though, except her insatiable hunger for the man. _

_The door to the lab opened suddenly, jarring her from her own world. She looked up to find the object of her thoughts shutting the door behind him, sealing it shut. She chose to pretend she was enthralled in the work on her computer and did not look up to greet him. A smile played at the corner of her lips, however._

_"Dr. Scott," he bellowed in greeting. She raised an eyebrow but continued to click around on the computer. "How is your research going?" His voice was loud, and she finally looked up, annoyed and confused as to why he was yelling at her. When her eyes met his, she saw the smirk on his lips, and the mischievous gleam in his ocean blues. _

_"Why are you yelling?" she questioned, as he spun her chair around, leaning her back against the desk. He leaned over her, placing his hands on either side of her on the desk. _

_"Shh, I'm trying to throw them off our scent," he hovered over her lips, searching her eyes. She rolled her eyes, tried to keep a straight face. _

_"I don't think anyone is on our scent, Captain," she replied, trying desperately not to fall under his spell. "No one saw me leave your quarters this morning. I'm pretty sure we're still a secret," she whispered against his lips. He grinned. _

_"We need to keep it that way," he responded in whisper, finally planting his lips to hers. It was a soft kiss, but that didn't stop Rachel from wishing it wouldn't end._


	19. Chapter 17

___Thank you all for your wonderful messages while I was healing! I am doing much better now, and am so appreciative of your patience! Your notes made me so happy, and definitely encouraged me to get this posted as soon as I could. _

___I'm excited to hear your thoughts about some of the developments in this chapter. I hope you enjoy it!_

___And thank you again for all your incredible reviews! They make me smile so much! Seriously. They're the best! Keep them coming and I'll keep the chapters coming! XO _

* * *

"Ugh, Rachel, focus," she chided herself, sighing heavily. She'd been down in the lab for three hours now, and had not gotten much done, as she was consumed by thoughts of her actions with the Captain hours earlier. The harder she tried to focus, the more she thought about his lips on her neck, his hands all over her body. She shivered again at the thought.

She needed to prep the mess hall for their celebration after breakfast was finished being served, and she was hoping that would help keep her mind off things. She really wanted to find him, shove him into a closet or storage room and have her way with him. That would not be productive for anyone though, except her insatiable hunger for the man.

The door to the lab opened suddenly, jarring her from her own world. She looked up to find the object of her thoughts shutting the door behind him, sealing it shut. She chose to pretend she was enthralled in the work on her computer and did not look up to greet him. A smile played at the corner of her lips, however.

"Dr. Scott," he bellowed in greeting. She raised an eyebrow but continued to click around on the computer. "How is your research going?" His voice was loud, and she finally looked up, annoyed and confused as to why he was yelling at her. When her eyes met his, she saw the smirk on his lips, and the mischievous gleam in his ocean blues.

"Why are you yelling?" she questioned, as he spun her chair around, leaning her back against the desk. He leaned over her, placing his hands on either side of her on the desk.

"Shh, I'm trying to throw them off our scent," he hovered over her lips, searching her eyes. She rolled her eyes, tried to keep a straight face.

"I don't think anyone is on our scent, Captain," she replied, trying desperately not to fall under his spell. "No one saw me leave your quarters this morning. I'm pretty sure we're still a secret," she whispered against his lips. He grinned.

"We need to keep it that way," he responded in whisper, finally planting his lips to hers. It was a soft kiss, but that didn't stop Rachel from wishing it wouldn't end. "I mean it," he broke from the kiss to catch her eyes, his portraying the seriousness his tone conveyed. Rachel locked eyes with him and nodded. She understood that he couldn't allow his sailors to think he was unfocused or unprofessional. And though they both knew their feelings, the crew and the children did not. And messing with anyone's thoughts and feelings but their own didn't seem appropriate or fair. If this didn't work out...Rachel knew she was getting ahead of herself. She took a deep breath.

"Of course," she replied, noting the way he reached up to caress her cheek and move a loose hair behind her ear. She smiled, shyly looking away. He did that a lot. He kissed her forehead.

"I have to get back to the bridge," he began, standing to his full height. She stood, reaching for his wounds.

"Hang on, let me take a look at your face," she gently touched the side of his eye, inspecting for any indication of serious injury. He entertained her concern, smirking while she poked and prodded his face. His jaw was sore, but he was sure he was fine. Nothing a little ibuprofen and ice couldn't help. "It seems all right," she finally spoke, her face still covered in worry. He chuckled.

"I'm fine, really. I'll come find you if I suddenly don't feel fine," he rubbed her arm gently, "Don't worry so much," he added with a wink.

She felt her cheeks warm and she laughed a little. He pulled her into his chest, and held her tightly. He knew he was walking a fine line here – everything they'd engaged in last night and now this. If they got caught...he kissed the top of her head and released her.

"I'll see you for lunch?" he confirmed. She nodded with a smile.

"We'll see you there," she shoved her hands in her pockets, trying desperately not to feel awkward. He tipped his head to her before turning for the door.

She watched him stride away, his footsteps purposeful and professional. She felt her heart swell. She was in deep, she could feel it in her soul. Hiding this was not going to be easy.

* * *

Tom read over the recent report from Lt. Chung. Mike watched him, debating on whether to bring up the conversation he needed to have with Tom. He shared a look with Alisha. They were a tight knit group, they spent many hours together on this bridge. He gathered she knew what he wanted to talk about, it wasn't as if it wasn't a secret.

Tom put the clipboard down and stood, and Mike checked the time. They were all due in the mess hall shortly.

"I'm going to grab some lunch," Tom announced to the small room. He looked at Alisha, "XO has the lead."

"Aye Aye, Captain," she replied, standing at attention. He nodded at her to be at ease, and Mike followed him toward the door.

"Captain, I think I'll join you," he spoke to his friend. Tom grinned and nodded.

"As long as you don't mind eating with the kids," he replied with a chuckle. Mike gave a small smile.

"It'll be nice. I've been missing my own lately," his voice sounded far away, and Tom suddenly faltered in his mood. Yes, he was so grateful to have his children with him. But what about his crew and their families? He hadn't yet found that answer.

They made their way down to the mess hall, Mike glancing at his watch. He hoped they were ready, as Tom was a few minutes ahead of schedule.

Tom rounded the corner into the mess hall, and before his eyes could even adjust to the large group of sailors before him, the yelling of "Surprise!" caught him completely off guard. He stepped back slightly, his heart almost jumping out of his chest. He laughed at himself, shaking his head, trying to calm his racing heart. The kids were then practically tackling him, their joy and excitement hard to contain. Rachel watched the moment, taking in the love the children had for their father. She surveyed the room then, taking in most of his crew standing before him, smiles on their faces as they watched him interact with his children. They had all been happy to participate in the moment of surprise and then the party itself. Punch had been made, cakes were ready to be served along with food and other sweet goodies. It would surely be a wonderful afternoon.

She turned her attention back to the man of honor, who was now looking around the room himself, his eyes wide, a large smile on his face. He caught her eyes briefly, stepping forward toward her but keeping a safe distance. "Lunch, huh?" he said, raising an eyebrow skeptically. Rachel shrugged.

"I'm sure there's food around here somewhere," she responded with a cheeky smile. She could feel her cheeks grow hot under his gaze. "Happy birthday Captain."

"Thank you," he spoke sincerely, before he was being tugged by Ashley and Sam over to the cakes they had proudly made him. She watched them go, before moving to make herself useful.

* * *

"So what's going on with you and Dr. Scott?" Mike stepped up next to his close friend, sipping his punch, taking note of the way Tom watched her from across the room. In light of their close call yesterday, he seemed in particularly high spirits today. Mike knew it was more than just cake and celebration. He'd known Tom way too long.

"Nothing, why?" Tom replied, nonchalant, with a grin toward his friend. Mike cocked an eyebrow.

"Well I suggest you work on your smoke and mirrors then because from where I've been standing, she's been in your crosshairs all afternoon and if you don't stop staring, everyone will soon be talking about it," Mike muttered; no sense in hiding his knowledge from his friend, not to mention covering his six. Tom turned slightly, pulling his gaze away from Rachel, where she was cutting cake. He couldn't help it; he couldn't take his eyes off of her. Even in her trademark jeans and tee shirt with her knee-high boots, she was a vision. And their actions last night were only fueling that fire.

"Heard," Tom acknowledged, a permanent grin across his features. Mike eyed his friend suspiciously. Before he could say anything further, Sam was between the two tall men. His eyes carried panic.

"Daddy, Ashley just said we won't have a tree for Christmas this year because trees don't grow on ships," Sam's bottom lip was quivering and it broke Tom's heart. He ran a hand over the boy's head. Mike watched the motion and felt a tug on his own heart strings at the loss of his own son.

"Buddy, I promise we'll find a way to get you a tree. What's Christmas without a tree?" Tom gave his son a reassuring smile and that seemed to lift Sam's spirits.

"Can I tell Ashley?" He asked, needing to prove to his sister that she was wrong. Tom laughed, nodding.

"Of course, tell her," he gestured toward where Ashley was helping Rachel and Sam ran off to tell her the good news. Tom watched the scene from afar, the excitement on Ashley's face, the way Rachel clapped her hands at Sam's news, her own enjoyment of the news clear.

"Hey Tom, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about," Mike began, almost tentatively. Tom turned back to his XO, questioning in his gaze.

"Everything okay, Mike?" He asked, concern evident in his voice.

"I'd like to take leave, look for my family," Mike began. It was not a decision he had taken to lightly, leaving his Captain and crew to head inland was not an easy thought. "If Christine is still in Deer Park, it's 14 hours inland from Norfolk," he paused, waiting to see if Tom would speak. His friend stared down at his drink, so Mike continued. " I'd like to bring them back and aboard the ship. I think the Nathan James is the safest place for all of us," Mike finished, waiting for his friend's response. Tom lifted his head to match Mike's gaze.

"I'm not going to say you can't go, but I'm going to caution you. Mike, that's far inland. We'll put a team together, see if we can get fuel in the helos," he understood Mike's desire to go, he had done the same thing. He just wished it wasn't so far.

"Thank you, Tom," Mike replied gratefully. Tom nodded, knowing that bringing home his friend's family was something important they had to do. Their conversation ceased as Lt. Foster moved to stand beside them. Both men shared a look of concern as they greeted the young sailor.

"Happy birthday, Captain," the brunette greeted her commanding officers. Her voice was low, and she was pale.

"Thank you, Lt Foster," Tom replied. "How are you?" he inquired, taking in her appearance.

"I'm all right, sir." she answered honestly, but both men could tell she was still struggling with her pregnancy. Both having had pregnant wives, they were familiar with morning sickness. Kara looked particularly sick at this moment though, Tom noted.

"Are you sure? Maybe you should sit down." Tom encouraged, gesturing toward the table not too far from then. She nodded.

"You're probably right, Captain," her voice faltered and as she stepped, she collapsed. Tom was quick to catch her, Mike reaching for his punch.

"Lt. Foster!" Tom eased her down to the floor, people making space for him to lay her down. "Kara, Kara! Stay with me. Dr Scott!" He called for Rachel immediately. Kara's eyes fluttered a little and he watched her try to focus on his face, though she seemed to be having a tough time. Rachel was by his side in a moment, concern written all over her face. She settled down beside him, their shoulders bumping as he kneeled by Kara's head.

"Kara, can you hear me?" Rachel lifted up her limp hand, "Squeeze my hand, Kara," the squeeze was small, but it was there.

"Burk!" Tom called out, the young man at the scene quickly. "Please relieve Lt. Green from his watch and tell him to meet me outside sick bay," Tom ordered and the lieutenant was off like a shot. He and Rachel exchanged glances and she nodded. Tom moved, sliding his arms under Kara's knees and back, picking her up easily. Rachel led the way through the crowd, making room for Tom, who was followed by Mike.

Russell stood with the children, surrounded by a silent room of sailors. He said a silent prayer that Kara and the baby were all right.

* * *

Tom paced outside the infirmary, waiting on Danny's arrival while Rachel worked on Kara. He noticed the way these two were becoming like family to him. He was genuinely worried for Kara's health, and he knew first hand what Danny was feeling. When Sam had been born premature, he'd been so overwhelmed with worry for his child and his wife. It had consumed him. He empathized with Danny.

The Navy Seal jogged down the p-way toward him. He came to a halt in front Tom, his eyes wide with terror. Tom rested his hands on Danny's shoulders.

"What happened? Is she all right? Is the baby..." his voice was shaky, his mind racing.

"Dr. Scott and Dr. Rios are working on her now. She collapsed in the mess hall. I caught her before she fell. She was semi-conscious when we got her down here. That's all I know as of yet." Danny stepped back, running his hands through his short hair, pacing. "Danny," Tom spoke softly, catching the attention of the stressed man, "I've been in your shoes. Don't think about the what ifs. Just wait for news." Tom settled down on the small bench across from the door, and patted the seat next to him. "I'll wait with you." Danny shuffled to the bench and took a seat, putting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. Tom leaned his head back against the wall and hoped for the best.

* * *

Rachel emerged an hour later, looking tired but positive. Both men stood immediately. She wrapped her sweater tighter around herself.

"Kara and the baby are all right," she began, easing their worries. "She is very dehydrated, I'm guessing due to her morning sickness. We've got her on fluids and she's resting comfortably. Everything else seems to be fine, the baby's heartbeat is consistent and strong. I think with some rest, they will be good as new." She turned to Danny specifically. "You can see her. But please try to keep her spirits up, and don't upset her. I need her blood pressure to stay stable."

"Yes ma'am," Danny responded, relief evident in his voice. "Thank you." he meant both words strongly. He moved past her to the door, allowing himself inside, shutting it behind him. As the door clicked shut, Rachel sighed heavily.

"She had me worried for a moment," she confessed, collapsing on to the bench. Tom sat down next to her, rubbing her back as she ran her hands over her face.

"She's really okay though?"

Rachel nodded. "She is. And the baby is too. We've just got to get her to take better care of herself." She pushed her hair out of her face and leaned back, turning her head to catch his eyes. "I'm sorry about your party," she apologized, her eyes sad. Tom shrugged.

"These things happen," he began, "It was great though, thank you," he hesitantly reached over and grabbed one of her hands. "Thank you for spending so much time with the children, and for helping them with today. They've done nothing but rave about you for weeks now. I can't tell you how happy that makes me, that they're moving on and coping," he searched her eyes, hoping she understood the weight of his words. "We wouldn't be doing so well without you." He offered her a small smile, which she returned.

"You don't know that. You might be getting on just fine without me," she laughed a little, awkwardly, surprised by his words.

"No," he shook his head, but never broke his eye contact, "I don't think so. You're incredible, Rachel. Everything you do is. And last night..." his voice trailed off, but their gaze continued on. Her cheeks grew pink under his eyes, and he grinned. He enjoyed making her blush.

"Should we talk about it?" She wondered out loud.

"Do you want to?" He answered her question with a question, putting the ball in her court. She shrugged.

"I don't know, if you think we need to," she stated tentatively. He shook his head, reaching for her other hand and holding it as well.

"Only if you want to," he spoke, squeezing her hands. She squeezed his in return. The warmth built her confidence.

"I need to monitor Kara for a while," she began, unsure of when she'd be finished.

"I'll come find you later, once you're settled back in your stateroom. We can talk then," His smile was sweet, and he leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

"Will you check on the kids?" the words were out of her mouth before she could stop them, and he grinned happily at her motherly concern for them, as she added sheepishly, "It was a lot of excitement for one afternoon, and it was probably scary for them."

"I will. I'll let them know Kara and the baby are just fine," he released her hands and stood up. She leaned her head back against the cool steel of the ship wall, peering up at him. "I'll see you later tonight," he gave her one last smile before walking away. She watched him for a moment, marveled again at the man he was, the feelings she had for him, before standing and heading back inside medical. She put her thoughts of him away for the moment, knowing they'd return when she had another free moment. She definitely didn't mind those thoughts though.

* * *

_I use a lot of songs to write these chapters. Would y'all be interested in a listing of music that inspires me to write these two? Just curious :)_

_Hope you enjoyed the chapter! I look forward to your thoughts!_ _(I apologize for any typos, sometimes I don't catch them :X )_


	20. Chapter 18

_***rated M toward the end of this chapter***_

Tom settled the children into bed, wishing them goodnight after a long day of birthday celebration. After the scare with Kara, he had gone back up to the party, assuring everyone their friend was all right. Mike headed back to the bridge so Tom could spend much needed time with the children and his father. He'd eaten too much cake, and laughed so hard his face hurt from smiling, but it was good for his soul. As he slid the door to the small bed area shut, he turned to find his father watching him intently. He raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, Pop?" he reached for the cup of decaffeinated coffee he had set on the desk and took a sip, eying his father.

Jed shrugged, looking back down at his book, "Nothing, Tommy. Was just thinking."

"About?"

"It's not important," Jed changed the subject, "How's Kara and the baby?"

"My last update from Rios said she was stable. I'm going to head down there now and check on her myself. We need to change her schedule so she's taking better care of herself," he leaned his large shoulder against the wall across from where his father sat.

"You care about those two kids," Jed remarked on Tom's words.

"I care about my entire crew," Tom responded. The corner of Jed's lip rose a little in a half smile.

"I know you do. But these two, Danny and Kara, I can tell you have a particular soft spot for them," Jed knew his son was a compassionate man. He could tell by the way he spoke to both, he looked at them like his own children. Tom shrugged.

"They've got a lot going on, we're living in a completely different world. Who knows where their families are. We're the only family they've got," Tom meant it about the two sailors, but also about his entire crew. They were a tight knit family now, all 200 plus of them. They were almost all each other had left.

"I'm proud of you, son. You're a good captain," the words were heartfelt and Tom gave a smile in thanks, unable to say anything. "These people are lucky to have you," Jed was proud of how his son had handled everything that had happened. His heart swelled with pride. He'd raised three fine children—though his younger two were yet to be found during this catastrophe.

Tom cleared his throat after a moment, "I'm going to go see Lt. Foster," they exchanged their goodbyes, and Tom made his way down to medical.

* * *

He knocked softly before entering, finding the young woman alone. She attempted to sick up. Tom noticed how pale she still was, but her eyes were much clearer.

"Sir," she greeted respectfully. Tom nodded.

"At ease, lieutenant," he gave her a smile small, taking a seat on the round chair next to the bed. Kara leaned back, wishing she was more presentable for her captain, and feeling embarrassed after everything that had happened.

"Captain, permission to speak freely?" her voice shook as she asked the question. She'd called a lot of attention to herself since the almost blown mission with Danny months ago. She owed Captain Chandler a huge apology.

"Granted."

"I want to apologize for all the trouble I've caused as of late, sir. I assure you it won't happen again." Her words were quiet and contrite. Tom considered her thoughts before speaking.

"Kara, you're pregnant. These things can happen. My late wife was terribly sick with Ashley. It effected everything. Control your controllables. If you're not feeling well, take a break. If you need water, get it. Don't let anything come between your health and the baby's health, understood?" Kara nodded her head adamantly. Tom's tone was straightforward and fatherly, "I appreciate your apology, but fainting in the galley is not something you did wrong. Not taking care of yourself was. Just make sure you're taking the proper measures to stay well. Listen to Dr. Scott and Dr. Rios' every word going forward."

"Aye, sir," Kara nodded, looking down at her hands in her lap, feeling the lump in her throat beginning to form. Tom rested his hand on her shoulder.

"I know you're scared. This is new territory for all of us- having a pregnant woman onboard a DDG. We're not equipped for this yet. But we will be. We'll do what it takes to keep you and the baby safe. You do your part, and we'll do ours." He gave her shoulder a squeeze before standing. "Are they releasing you to your quarters soon?"

"Yes, sir. Dr. Rios went to get Lt. Granderson."

"Good. Get some rest. I don't expect to see you in CIC for at least two days, understood? Take care of yourself, lieutenant. That's an order." A small smile formed on his lips, and Kara nodded again.

"Aye. Thank you, sir." Tom squared his shoulders and exited medical, content with their talk. He realized his father was right. He did look at her as a daughter.

* * *

Tom looked down one side of the p-way and then down the other side, looking to see if anyone was around. It was late, and quiet, the lights darkened to that glowing red. He took a chance, knocked softly on the stateroom door, hoping she would swiftly answer.

Rachel placed her book down and stood from her small chair, heading to the door. She knew who her late visitor was, or at least she hoped it was him. She'd been thinking about seeing him tonight since he'd said he'd come by, and secretly, she wasn't prepared for his visit. Being alone with him again, in a cabin, seemed risky in light of their new enjoyment for one another. But on the other hand, she couldn't wait to get her hands on him.

She pulled open the door and smiled when she saw him on the other side. He offered her a small, almost shy smile, and she opened the door wider to accommodate his large frame. She shut it behind him, and noticed how much bigger he seemed, standing in the middle of her tiny stateroom. She moved around him to stand in front of him, leaning her shoulder against the top bunk.

"Hello," she offered in greeting, as he stood before her, rocking a little on his heels, hands clasped behind his back.

"Hello." he replied with a grin, searching her eyes.

"Kara seems to be settled back in her stateroom, resting comfortably. I'll check on her first thing tomorrow and make sure all is well," Rachel informed him of what he already knew—he'd been down to visit Kara before coming to see Rachel. She didn't need to know that though, didn't want to burst her bubble.

"Excellent. Thank you for caring for her," he squared his shoulders, attempting to keep whatever professional barrier between them for now, knowing he was having a hard time keeping his hands off of her.

"Absolutely. That's what I'm here for," she stopped, laughing a little, "Well, sort of. It's turned into that, hasn't it?" she giggled a little, peering up at him sideways, taking in his handsome features and small grin.

"It certainly has," he laughed a little in response. He took a step forward, closer to her, pulling her into his arms. He couldn't resist.

She snuggled into his chest, breathing a sigh that had been held in her chest all evening. She could hear the muffled sounds of his consistent heartbeat through his BDUs, and she closed her eyes, enjoying the sound and taking comfort in his strong arms.

Tom ran a hand over her back, before leaning back, surveying her face and her expression. She looked content, but questioning, her eyes showing him she wasn't sure of his next move. He leaned forward and gently, slowly pressed his lips to hers, this time taking the moment to appreciate and memorize the feel of her mouth on his.

She kissed him back easily, with just as much softness as he had started, neither rushing the kiss. She knew they were both unsure of how to proceed in these new uncharted waters, and both wanted to relish what secret alone time they had. He turned her gently, putting her back against the top bunk, his hands finding her face, his thumbs caressing her cheeks.

Her hands rested gently against his hips, her fingers looped through the belt loops on either side of his pants. She let him control their pace, followed behind comfortably. He was a born leader, at everything. And she wasn't complaining.

A series of knocks at the door made them both jump, and they both looked to the door and then back to each other. "Don't answer it," Tom whispered. She knew it was because they couldn't afford to get caught alone, in her room, with the door shut.

"They must know I'm in here if they're knocking," No one came knocking on her door, rarely was anyone looking for her. Whoever it was knew she was in here. Rachel looked around, looking for a place to hide the large captain. The knocking came again. Her heart raced a little. "Here," she whispered, "Get in the bed, I'll shut the curtain and turn off the light," he gave her a dubious look, not interested in the small space, but climbed in nonetheless. Rachel tousled her hair and rubbed her eyes, trying to appear as if she'd been sleeping. She shut off the light and pulled open the door a little, squinting, peering at the person outside. She was surprised to see Danny on the other side. She immediately lifted her head a little higher, worried for Kara.

"Dr. Scott, I'm sorry to bother you," Danny began quickly, "I just wanted to say thank you for today." Rachel felt relief wash through her veins. She offered him a warm smile.

"My pleasure Danny. Anything I can do to help. Just keep an eye on her," Rachel gave him a wink and he nodded, a small smile playing at his lips.

"Yes ma'am," he replied. "Have a good evening," he nodded his head in goodbye and headed back down the p-way. Rachel watched him go a good ways before shutting the door and locking it. She smoothed her hair back down and went back to the bed, dropping down to climb in beside the Captain. The small twin bed put them very close together, and with him on his back, she barely fit. He stretched his left arm, allowing her to move closer to him, and she relished in the warmth he let off.

Tom could smell her vanilla scent surrounding him, and it was intoxicating. As he stared at the bottom of the top bunk, he felt like a young officer again, though he hadn't ever snuggled with a woman on one of these bunks. He chuckled a little—there was a first time for everything.

Rachel looked up at him curiously as he laughed a little. "What is so funny?" she inquired, studying his relaxed features.

"I haven't laid in one of these in five years probably, and definitely not ever with a woman," at the admission he felt a twinge of guilt, he wasn't sure why. Rachel chuckled a little as well.

"Well, there's a code forbidding this type of thing," she rationalized.

"True. Didn't prevent Green and Foster from getting pregnant, though," he scowled, thinking of all the complications this would present. It already had presented its fair share. This was a destroyer, not a cruise ship. They weren't set up for families.

"They will be all right. We'll find a way to accommodate them." He peered over at her, taking in her pretty eyes as she looked up at him from his chest.

"You know they're not going to be the last," Tom sighed, voicing his concern. So many men and women on a floating island, with no real mission at hand other than staying alive. There were bound to be more situations that would arise.

"Inevitably, I suppose. We can only take it as it comes." As she laid against him, she couldn't help but realize they were no better than Kara and Danny. They'd taken that forbidden next step. They were no example of good behavior.

Tom rolled over onto his side, resting his hand on her hip, rubbing the small amount of exposed skin there. "Do you think there's any safe place on land for us?" his question was honest, and quiet. He needed reassurance, she realized. Unfortunately, she didn't have any. She sighed.

"I'm not sure. There was so much devastation, and the CDC was very clear on how wide-spread the pandemic was. I really don't know that there would be anywhere for us to make port and safely exist in this new world," she wasn't above being honest with him. If she couldn't be honest with him at this point, who could she be honest with?

He looked thoughtful and nodded, looking down at the sheets. "It's just hard to imagine living on this ship forever. I love it, but I have never thought of it as a permanent living place. There are so many different sides to that coin."

"I think it's something we really need to consider. In six months, Kara is going to have a baby. And we need to be ready for this one, and possibly more. Not to mention your children need a place to live and grow amongst this cold steel."

Tom chewed the inside of his cheek, unsure of his next move. The thought of the kids growing up onboard the Nathan James made him immensely nervous. This was no place for children. They didn't really have a choice however. He sighed.

Rachel ran a hand over his cheek, searching his eyes. She knew he was feeling conflicted, the weight of the world was on his shoulders. She knew the feeling.

"Tom, we can't solve all the problems tonight. Maybe we should get some rest, think through what our options are over the next few days. We have time." She tried to be encouraging, wasn't sure if she believed her words herself. How much time did they have?

"Mike wants to go to Illinois to find his family," he blurted it out, it had been weighing on him since Mike had told him. He couldn't bare the thought of his XO going inland alone, but understood the importance of it to Mike.

Rachel digested the information. "When?"

"I assume as soon as possible. If we can get fuel in the helo we can get him in and out pretty quickly. If not, we'll have to find another way. I'd go with him but.." his voice drifted off, and she knew why. The kids.

And she worried for his safety. "You can't go. Send Burk and Miller. We can't spare you." _I can't spare you_ she finished to herself. She couldn't bare the thought of him going ashore for an extended period of time with no ability to communicate so far in land. What if something happened?

Tom found her hand, laced his fingers through. "We can't really spare anyone, I don't want any more funerals."

Rachel had no response, instead just moved closer on the small mattress, settling against him. He draped his arm around her waist, kissed the side of her head, resting his against hers.

Tom wasn't sure if she would be receptive, but he chanced and leaned down, finding her lips. She rolled herself onto back to allow him to access her lips easier, and he pushed himself up onto his elbow, leaning over her, never breaking their contact. Kissing her was comforting, warm, a breath of fresh air. The twinge of guilt returned for a brief moment, but it disappeared as she reached up and ran her fingers through the hair at the base of skull. He kissed her a little deeper, pressing his fingers into her hip, gripping the hipbone he could easily feel through her thin side.

Rachel could feel the familiar tingle start in her belly, the butterflies swirling. Kissing this man was heady. She could feel herself getting lost in his kisses already. She let him control the pace, wasn't sure how far he planned to take it this evening.

As his lips moved to her ear, and down the side of her neck, she took a breathe, tried to speak. "Tom," she began, attempting to get his attention.

"Hmm?" he mumbled against her skin, causing her a shiver.

"Should we talk about last night?" She was a scientist, she rationalized things for a living, worked with facts and hypothesis. She wanted to make sense of this all.

Tom pulled back from her neck, smiling down at her. "What about it?" he inquired. She shrugged against the comforter.

"Well...I mean...you're not sorry, right?" Her voice conveyed her secret nerves, and he gave her a sweet smile.

"I'm not sorry." he replied, kissing her again. "If I was, I wouldn't be here right now," his voice was raspy and she could feel his want against her through his BDUs. This man made her weak. "Anything else you want to know?"

She licked her lips as his found her collar bone. Her eyes practically rolled back into her head. "Umm..no, I can't think of anything else right now," she pushed her head back into the pillow, giving him more access to her soft skin. His hand found its way up her ribcage, gripping her side, caressing her skin with his thumb. She reached for the buttons on the front of his jacket, quickly and easily undoing each one. She pushed it over his shoulders and he shrugged it off in the small quarters, careful not to bump his head. They each tried to watch their knees and elbows as they quickly rid themselves of their clothing, attempting to continue kissing as best they could.

He slid his hand down her stomach as soon as he could, feeling for her readiness. She moaned and bucked her hips up at him, causing a devilish smile to cross his features. He rolled on top of her gently, and wasted no time pushing into her. Rachel arched her back and moaned loudly, unable to contain it in the heat of the moment. Tom clasped his hand gently over her mouth, a playful warning look on his face.

"Shhh," he whispered against her ear. She closed her eyes, nodding, trying to control any noise from leaving her. It was so hard, he made her feel so many things. She wanted him to know how good it felt.

He pulled his hand away from her mouth when he was sure she would be quiet, and pushed harder this time, over and over, as her legs came up on either side of his hips. He sank deeper into her, and tried to stay quiet himself, a small moan escaping his lips. He was addicted to the small woman below him. That much he knew.

* * *

_Wow! Thank you so much for the incredible reviews! As requested, below are is the 'Red Flag' soundtrack, if you will. These are the songs I use to write this fic. And if anyone wants to use one to make a video, well, I wouldn't be disappointed ;) haha! If there is a chapter in parenthesis, it means I used it to write part or all of that chapter in particular. Some of the chapters aren't finished yet ;) * evil laugh *_

_Happy Listening!_

_"Kiss Me Slowly" Parachute (chapter 16/18)_

_"Sweet and Low" Augustana_

_"Gravity" John Mayer_

_"Human" Christina Perri_

_"Distance" Christina Perri (feat. Jason Mraz)_

_"Be My Forever" Christina Perri & Ed Sheeran (chapter 12)_

_"Chances" Five for Fighting (chapter 18)_

_"The Mess I Made" Parachute (chapter 20) **(so excited about this chapter)**_

_"Safe and Sound" Taylor Swift feat. Civil Wars (chapter 22)_

_"Reason to Hope" Ron Pope_

_"Drop in the Ocean" Ron Pope (chapter 22/23)_

_"Somewhere in the Middle" Nine Sky Wonder_

_"She is Love" Parachute_

_"Never Stop" Safetysuit_

_"All about Us" He is We feat Owl City_

_"Diamond in the Making" Patrick Davis (chapter 6)_

_"Forever and Always" Parachute (chapter 7 & 23) **(could be the saddest song ever written)**_

_"World Spins Madly On" The Weepies (chapter 8)_

_"Here with Me" Dido (chapter 15/16)_

_"Run" Matt Nathanson (chapter 16)_

_"Wake Me Up" Madilyn Bailey (chapter 7/8/22)_


	21. Chapter 19

Rachel awoke hours later as she rolled over, realizing the warm mass she'd fallen asleep against was no longer a presence in her bed. She moved closer to where his head had been laying when they'd fallen asleep, her back against his chest, and she could smell the husky scent of his aftershave on the pillow. She breathed a sigh, inhaling the scent. He must have crawled out by her feet, she hadn't even realized he was gone until now. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, there was no evidence he'd been by that night. She wasn't sure what time it was as she sat up, curious if it had all been a dream. She took in the fact she was still naked and laughed to herself—it definitely hadn't been a dream.

So many parts of their new found relationship was still so prohibited. She still carried guilt about Darien, was sure he was still mourning his late wife, and she knew he'd taken an oath to not participate in such activities as their sudden late night get-togethers. No fraternization, period. They were breaking all kinds of moral rules.

She also realized that if they didn't protect themselves going forward, there was a chance they'd end up in Danny and Kara's shoes. And despite how much she was beginning to realize she yearned for a family, here and now was not the right time or place.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, her chest felt heavy. Despite the enjoyment they'd been having in each other, maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

She pulled on some warm clothes and boots, the sweatshirt a few sizes too big, her long hair falling on her shoulders, her sweatpants hanging at her hips. She'd lost a few pounds since this mission had begun.

She caught glimpse of the clock and realized it was still early, only 0500. Most of the ship would just be waking. She wanted a cup of tea and to watch the sunrise. Maybe that would ease her anxiety. A piece of toast would probably help too, she realized, as her stomach grumbled at her.

Rachel walked quietly down the p-way, lost in thought, making her way to the ward room. She pushed open the door and found the XO reading a report at the table, sipping on his morning coffee. She was surprised to find anyone up here at this hour, and wished she hadn't. She wasn't much for talking.

"Good morning, doctor," Slattery greeted her, standing out of respect. She offered a small smile, dropping her head.

"Good morning, Commander," She made her way over to the hot water basin, grabbing a mug off the shelf. He sat back down, his eyes falling back to his report.

"How are you this morning?" he made casual conversation, noting a few things on the report. He glanced up every few moments. She had a fleeting worry he was on to them.

"I'm doing well, yourself?" She asked curiously, remembering what Tom had mentioned about Mike wanting to find his family. She couldn't really blame him for wanting to find them, despite the dangers.

"All right." he set his pen down, and looked at her, and she knew he was no longer making casual conversation. She stood at the end of the table, letting her tea steep, bobbing the breakfast tea bag in and out of the water. "Can I ask you a question?"

Rachel shrugged, "Of course." Fear coursed through her veins. Could she lie if he flat-out asked about her and the captain? She said a prayer that she'd be able to.

"How many different strains of the virus do you think there are? Do you think we're immune to them all, or are there still versions of it we need to protect ourselves from?" His question caught her off guard, and she found herself breathing a sigh of relief.

That was not lost on Slattery.

"I'm not sure, but if it was altered to where it was when I was able to identify the version we currently have, then I'm sure it if is not contained, it can keep changing. We as humans adapt to certain viruses, and it needs to change in order to keep progressing. I'm not sure how many strains, that's anyone's guess. But yes, I would say that on land we would need to very careful."

"So we would need to wear our CBR gear and have our masks ready if we were to come in contact with people who could possibly be infected?" his gaze was intense, and he was clearly making plans in his head. She contemplated her answer.

"Yes, that would be ideal for safety," she took a sip of her tea, and watched him digest her words.

"I'm going ashore to find my family," he admitted to her quietly. She kept her face calm, took in his words as if it was the first time she'd heard them. She nodded.

"It's a dangerous world now, Commander Slattery. Make sure you take plenty of gear and supplies. Are you taking anyone with you?" this question was for her benefit. Had Tom decided to go with him?

"I'm not sure. I don't want to risk anyone else's lives for the sake of my family. Tom said something about putting a team together." He stared down at the dark liquid in his cup and the wheels in her head began to turn.

"Let me know what happens, okay?" She wasn't ready to speak her thoughts, wasn't sure she was ready to think them.

"Of course. I imagine you'll want samples from the field," he gave her a soft smile and they were both brought back to a time when things were simpler and they thought was just out chasing birds across the barren snowy arctic. So much had changed.

"Thank you, Commander," she smiled in goodbye and excused herself, heading for the deck. It was colder than she'd anticipated as she stepped through the helo bay door, the wind from the full-speed ahead destroyer blowing her hair around. She took a seat on one of the one of the bulkheads and looked out of the water, leaning her back against the hard metal. She watched from the front of the ship as the sun began to peek itself over the horizon. It was a beautiful view on this chilly morning. And she had a lot of thinking to do.

* * *

Tom rubbed his hands over his face as he awoke from his short slumber. He'd slept a couple of hours with Rachel before moving quickly and quietly out of her bed, dressing up fully again and making his way unseen back up to his quarters. They were not close, and he had been careful not to be seen down in her area of the ship. It was not a common place for him to be that time of night. He had slept a few more hours in his own bed and now, as his eyes adjusted in the darkness, he missed her warmth beside him.

He sat up and threw his long legs over the side of the bed, yawning. If none of this virus nonsense had happened, he'd be waking up in his king size bed in his master bedroom back in Norfolk. Darien would be making pancakes for him and the kids downstairs, as she did on weekends, and coffee would be brewing. Those times were long gone, he knew, simply a memory now. Good memories, but memories nonetheless. He missed her, a lot, missed their life together. He missed their house, and their dog, and his pickup truck. He missed the mundane things like going to the grocery store, or taking his wife to the movies, or playing catch with Sam in the yard. His heart ached a little at the sudden flood of moments in his mind.

He ran a hand over his silvery hair and side. All that was gone, he needed to focus on the present and the future, whatever that entailed. He wasn't sure where they'd end up, but knew that protecting his immediate, and now very extended family was his ultimate goal. And her. She fit somewhere in the mix.

He smiled a little as he thought back to the night before. Despite knowing he shouldn't be engaging in such behavior, it was a release from the stress of their every day life, a couple quiet hours when he could escape and feel a little less like they were living in a post-apocalyptic world. It had only been a few days, but he was enjoying her, enjoying their time together. He cared about her, more than he was ready to admit to himself. He was careful, he didn't want to hurt her or the children. And he didn't want to break his crew's trust. That was a big variable for him. Their trust in him was everything, if he lost that...

Tom rid the thoughts from his mind, standing. He needed a shower, some breakfast, and to get up to the bridge. As he removed his clothes, he caught a glance of his upper body in his small bathroom mirror. He saw the red marks on his shoulder and chuckled with a shake of his head. She'd left her mark on him. In more than one way, he thought to himself.

* * *

It was late in the afternoon when he found her down in her lab with Ashley and Ava, going through some inventory. Each girl had a clip board and Rachel was teaching them how to count everything in each of her storage containers. The girls were enthralled in Rachel's teachings, the three of them focused on their task. He waited by the entrance, watched her with the girls, waiting for a pause. It wasn't long before she let the girls loose to count and inspect the bins, walking slowly over to where he leaned against one of her tables. He smiled at her as she approached, and she gave him a shy smile in return.

"I see we've started Nathan James Elementary," he joked, giving the ship a school's name. Rachel chuckled with a nod and an affectionate look toward the girls.

"They asked if they could help with anything, and I offered to teach them a few things. They seem very receptive," she elaborated, watching the girls intently talk amongst themselves. Tom couldn't help but smile.

"Good idea. Sam if off playing Navy Seal with Green."

"You have your hands full with that one. He's going to grow up just like his father," she gave Tom a knowing smile with the tease and he shook his head with a laugh.

"Or Green and Burk. As far as Sam's concerned, what they do is much cooler than being captain of the ship," he dropped his voice and caught her eyes, changing the subject. "How are you?" He inquired. She looked down at her shoes. This man made her a weak mess sometimes.

"I am well. Yourself?"

"Great," a broad grin adorned his handsome face and she was torn between being suck in by his charm and feeling guilty. She subconsciously sighed and his brow furrowed, his grin faltering.

"Dr. Scott," he kept her name professional in front of the children, "Is everything all right?"

"Of course," she lied, praying the eye contact she held with him would keep him from seeing through her. He didn't look convinced.

"Are you sure?" he pushed, standing to his full height in front of her. She nodded adamantly.

"Yes, Captain." She feigned a yawn, "I just haven't been getting too much sleep in recent days," she didn't want him to know anything was wrong so she chose this as her response. She spoke playfully. He kept his face professional, but his eyes told her he knew what she was referring to.

"Has something been keeping you up at night, doctor?" His tone was just as playful, but before she could respond, the girls were calling for her. She turned to them, before turning back to him.

"I need to go help them," she spoke regrettably. "I'll see you later, maybe around dinner time?" She began toward the girls, but her body stayed facing his direction, needed his response. He nodded.

"If I'm not there, I'm on the bridge," he spoke solidly, watching her smile in acceptance and then walk to the girls. He watched the three of them converse, the way Rachel was so patient and kind with them, helping them sort out their questions. She was such an asset to them aboard this ship. He marveled at how far they all had come in the last couple months.

He thought about Sam for a moment, how he wished, as his father, he was down here learning about science instead of on deck learning about artillery. He shook his head and reminded himself that he'd been a small boy once, and had been interested in that particular activity too.

* * *

A knock sounded at Tom's door a little after dinner, and he presumed it was Rachel. He hadn't seen her at dinner as she'd suggested she would be, and when he'd went to look for her in the lab, she hadn't been anywhere to be found. He hoped it was her.

"It's open," he called with a smile. He was surprised to see Mike when the door opened. His smile fell a little. Mike raised an eyebrow.

"I presume you didn't think it was me knocking," Mike deadpanned, stepping into the office area of Tom's at sea cabin.

"I just thought it was the kids," Tom tried to hide his tone of disappoint, "What can I do for you, XO?" he spoke with a friendly tone instead, standing and leaning against his desk, crossing his arms.

"Have you given any thought to forming a team to head to Deer Park?" Mike stood respectfully in front of his commanding officer. He knew he was walking a fine line by asking Tom to dock close to land and allow him to take a few of their crew to save his family. Tom nodded.

"I have. Burk and Green will go with you. You'll have to go in on foot, maybe jump a car. I'll work on getting the help refueled."

Mike nodded, "Thank you, Tom," He paused, thought for a moment, "I would like to take one of the doctors. In case we need medical aid along the way or once we're there. We should probably do some tests too, on the virus, I mean," he knew he was pushing it by asking. Tom chewed on his cheek for a moment.

"You can take Rios. Scott and Tophet can cover duties until you return." Mike opened his mouth to argue, wanting one of the scientists but Tom didn't give him the opportunity. "The scientists stay here," he replied with a cautionary look. Mike shut his mouth and nodded.

"Aye, sir," he stepped to the door, leaving the captain be, and making his way down to the lab. Rachel was not going to like Tom's response to Mike wanting to take her along.

* * *

Rachel avoided talking about it with him two whole days, before she knew they were preparing to drop anchor off Virginia, and she needed to make a decision. Was she going to ask him if she could go or not? She was trying to find the courage to ask because she knew he'd say no and she needed to show him why he should let her go.

They'd slept separately the last couple nights, keeping their hands to themselves. It seemed they'd both been having their own thoughts about their sudden relations. Minus a moment in a closet by the forward engine room.

She felt hot just thinking about it on her way to find in the ward room.

_She bumped into him exiting the storage closet, looking for a few cleaning necessities. He had been coming up from the engine room, checking in with Garnett and Chung. _

"_Captain," she greeted him, her hands full. He nodded to her, hands behind his back. _

"_Doctor," he replied, standing in front of her. He hadn't seen her or kissed her in over twenty four hours. He was surprised how he missed it. He stepped forward toward her and she backed up into the closet. He walking in and shut the door. She dropped everything in her hands as his hands found her face,his lips finding hers. The kiss was messy, full of need, and she felt light headed when he pulled back. He bent down and picked up her things for her, before kissing her one last time, opening the door and heading on his way up the p-way. She sighed heavily, not sure if she had breathed the entire time she'd been in the closet. She stepped out, looking about to make sure no one was around, before making her way in her own direction up the p-way. _

She shook her head, trying to clear her mind. She needed to see him as the captain, not as the man kissing her hotly in a closet or in her bed.

She stepped into the ward room, and let the door shut behind her. He was alone, as she hoped he'd be. She didn't wait for him to acknowledge her before speaking.

"I'd like to go with Commander Slattery to Deer Park. I think that I'm best suited for the trip and I'd like to evaluate the conditions and various possible strains of the virus." She was surprised by the control in her voice. She knew he wouldn't receive her words well, and when he turned from pouring his cup of coffee, she could tell by the look in his eyes he was not happy with her request.

"Rachel, I don't think that's a good idea. It's dangerous. You could be hurt or worse.." Tom's voice drifted off as he placed his cup down on the table, crossing his arms. He was surprised by her desire to go, had she told Mike? He hadn't mentioned anything about it.

Rachel noticed his change in demeanor, his shoulders growing broader. He wasn't having any of her desire to research the outside world. She wasn't ready to give up yet, however.

"In order to continue to make sure we are adapting and our vaccine continues to work, I need to test people who have the virus or who have died from it. If we ever have any desire to live on land again, we need to know fully what's going on." She used his own question from the other night against him. She saw him clench his jaw.

"No." It was a statement, one of conviction. "I'm not letting you go with Mike." He picked up his cup and moved toward the door to exit the ward room, and she could see the heat in his eyes as he walked past her. "This conversation is over. My answer is no."

* * *

_You all have been fabulous with the follows and alerts! Thank you!_

_I have noticed though that reviews are down from Chapter 16. Reviews are not everything, but they're definitely a good gauge of how you're enjoying this story. Have I turned a corner and now you're no longer interested? People have always let me know how I'm doing with this fic, and it has over 100 followers, which I am so thankful for, but suddenly the reviews are down and that worries me as the author. If you have thoughts, or if I've irreparably damaged this story somehow, please PM so we can talk about it. I need to know your thoughts in order to write so you enjoy this story. It's very important to me that the readers like where I'm going with this. We had a request for action and I'm gearing up to try my hand at it, so maybe that will bring back the interest. _

_I know I took some time for my wrist to heal and that slowed the updates down, but I'm back in full force and want to make sure I haven't lost anyone along the way. We have eight long months ahead of us before the first episode of season 2. Writing this story is getting me through this long hiatus. I hope you all continue to enjoy it. _

_Please leave a line and let me know your thoughts. They're SO appreciated! XOXO_


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